Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
Since a legal divorce is not an option for me presently, due primarily to financial issues, I have put a secondary option into place that meets my needs. Thankfully my house can accommodate separate living areas, I have taken the initiative and now only need a set of French doors for my living room and I will be done.
AH remains in total denial of any responsibility for my dissatisfaction in this marriage, continuing to maintain that it is all my delusion.
A slight glitch in the plan arose when he underwent his sixth back surgery last week. He has NOONE. So I am caring for him. I don't have a problem with taking on this responsibility, but he seems to think it is business as usual and is being fairly disrespectful verbally and emotionally. One would think that a pending divorce would make one a bit introspective. One would think there would be some level of appreciation. I know, I know......not happening.
Hence this reminder to myself not to slip back into old behavior. Just changed his bandages and returned to my "apartment" , will walk the dogs then out with friends.
Thanks for listening.
AH remains in total denial of any responsibility for my dissatisfaction in this marriage, continuing to maintain that it is all my delusion.
A slight glitch in the plan arose when he underwent his sixth back surgery last week. He has NOONE. So I am caring for him. I don't have a problem with taking on this responsibility, but he seems to think it is business as usual and is being fairly disrespectful verbally and emotionally. One would think that a pending divorce would make one a bit introspective. One would think there would be some level of appreciation. I know, I know......not happening.
Hence this reminder to myself not to slip back into old behavior. Just changed his bandages and returned to my "apartment" , will walk the dogs then out with friends.
Thanks for listening.
The more others are involved and you are not, the better. Enjoy the night out.
I would investigate all options for visiting nurses, personal care assistance, etc.
I would even pay for it myself if I could in your situation, so as not to blur boundaries and because you do not deserve to listen to any verbal abuse.
He should've taken care of finding somebody to help him care for himself! he should've told them at the hospital he had no one to care for him at home and asked for options. Maybe they wouldn't have discharged him!
but it sounds like he saw this an open opportunity to suck you back in to "doing for him".
Your other option would be telling him that you are setting a deadline and you will no longer help him care for himself after that.
Give him 48 hours to hire a visiting nurse or personal care assistant and tell him that he should probably contact his insurance company or doctor because otherwise he's going to end up with an infection and back in the hospital but either way you're not caring for him.
It is highly likely that he will ignore your deadline and you will have to prove to him that you mean what you are saying. If you decide to take that route you are going to have to ignore him, Just be sure he has a phone in reach so he can contact someone if he has an emergency!
That is my 2!