I have not. I am so sorry you are going through all this. I was, however with a man with OCD before people knew what it was...7 years also, and he ended up leaving me for another woman...but he didn't marry her, he married the girl he was cheating on BOTH of us with. It didn't last either.
I do know that addicts have to spend all their efforts on a new sober life, and maybe he thinks that you will remind him too much of the old life....if only he knew that meeting someone and staying sober is not as easy at it sounds.
I wouldn't even talk about the relationship. Plan to go somewhere new, or try a new restaurant, or hike or hobby...something to show him that you want a new life too...the only thing I say to my son about his addiction is "I am proud of you" about him being sober.
meanwhile, hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Once you face the worst and plan for it, you can handle anything else!

If he is really going through the recovery process, then he is going through a period where his whole relationship to his world is changing. I can relate. I'm also in recovery - though only 6 weeks this time. So please take my comments with a grain of salt. AND, I'm living with an addict who is in denial and I'm feeling tons of anger projected at me and our relationship shift. (She's lost a party buddy, and even when she's dry she feels the shift because I'm more outgoing and independent when I'm sober). In the past I always absorbed the guilt, hoping for the irritation (on both of our parts) to end so we could go back to our normal (unhealthy co-dependent) relationship. I am super trying to make a change and so this also involves evaluating my closest relationships for their health value. (We've been together 12 years, married almost 7).
That said, it is probably normal for him to have all kinds of new feelings and before he gets to the point where he realizes that he is projecting/blaming you for his reactions and his life, he might have those escapist desires to seek a quick fix in a new relationship. If he can heal beyond that and stay with you, wonderful. Sounds like he is confused by his new feelings. Admitting it as he mumbles, is a good step. If he can't heal beyond his current feelings, you are better off (though it will be painful for awhile). Be open and honest and communicate with him, constantly. Are you also clean and sober? You you independent and allow him to be independent? Are you also working on your own betterment of person (whether it be recovery, or just examining your habits and trying to drop unhealthy habits)? I'd say it goes beyond going to a new restaurant, etc.
Last thought - when I journal I am exploring my own relationship with myself - lots of the things I write down are the mind-chatter which don't really reflect thoughts that are strong enough to result in actions yet. Some of them are feelings so elusive I don't usually consciously think them. I'm feeling out and observing myself. So it is important for my private journal to really and truly be private. Unless he gave you permission to read his step-work, I feel you did a horrible thing by reading his step-work, a grave injustice. In reading it you've already hurt yourself - and it continues to fester unless you find a way to communicate your thoughts on what you read - and would/could also harm his future self-honesty if he were to know you read it. Those are my thoughts about those things, regardless of how much you help him with other aspects of his recovery and life. Life is certainly irritating sometimes, especially in the early phases of recovery - I can relate to him. However, you feeling confused and wanting to know his feelings - is not justification to "step onto the other side of the street" (as they say in meetings).

tThanks for the replies. SimpleReal thank you for sharing from the other side - as an addict in recovery - your post helps me understand a bit more what he is feeling and going through too. I do not drink or use, I did drink on weekends but I stopped when he went into treatment to show my support. I know that reading his work was so wrong and I will not do it again, unless he gives me permission, because as you say it has actually hurt me more and I know he would be so angry and hurt if he knew.

I am a member of Al-anon. I learned how to talk to and cope with an addict in recovery. Actually, I learned a lot more than that. I strongly suggest you attend the meetings. It is the best thing you can do for your boyfriend. If you want to know how you can help, the answer is go to a support group like Al-anon or a related group for friends and family of narcotic abusers.

Here are my feelings dating a person in recovery. In her case, she is 11 years "clean" but I can't say she is truly "sober":

Personally, I have never done any kind of drugs, smoked, or drank much more than beer. And when I do drink, I have never, ever had the desire to get drunk. Getting drunk for me has always been more of a consequence rather than a goal.

Addicts are different. They want to get drunk, they want to get high. I can't think for myself why anyone would want to lost control of their brain or ingest a substance that they know could KILL them. My thought is that they had issues going in, and the drugs and alcohol abuse is because they didn't want to face those issues. They hate their sober self.

And when they quit the drugs, the underlying issue is still there. It's not like they become instantly happy or grateful. There are underlying depressions, mental illnesses, traumas, and negative attitudes. Like I said, my girlfriend has been "clean" for 11 years, but it's now apparent that even though she no longer does drugs, she uses other things the same way - because she hates herself. She's used food, sex, travel, and spending money all because she can't stand to be alone with her own thoughts. Before, she used drugs to escape, and now she has nothing. She told me the other night that I am the only thing that makes her happy. You know what? That makes *me* her new drug. She's still looking externally for things to allow her to escape from herself.

I suspect the same is true for your boyfriend. he's now frantically looking for who his "sober" self is, And the truth is, you can do nothing about it, and do nothing to help him. He *has* to find himself. And sadly for you, that may mean he needs to look elsewhere. It's rough to think that way, and I had to wrap my head around that myself. But I know if my girlfriend decides she needs to do something else in order to make herself whole, I have to let her go.

You are welcome. In response to what Alan246 added: I concur. While I'm in recovery for my own addictions I also attend Al-Anon for how to deal with being married to an alcoholic. Both are relatively new to me, yet I'm receiving lots of support and new tools. It is truly amazing the perspective shift towards empowerment offered in Al-anon, it surprised me. I thought it would just be "venting" but it is about learning to control the only thing we can: our reactions to things. (Of course there is more to it than that, I'm over simplifying, but like I said, I'm new) . Don't be fooled either, by long periods of sobriety in your partner. Like Azkevin said, addicts will use other things in the same way, until the root causes are worked on. My wife might abstain from booze for a week or two here or there, but the anger, etc is still there. Dry drunks can suffer and inflict suffering for an entire life.
As a non-user, al-anon can help you to feel more in charge of your reactions so that you don't become an "addict" to controlling or passively manipulating the vibe in your out-of-control relationship. Secretly reading someone else's private writings would be an example of that desperate craving to control something outside of you.
Please take everything I say with a grain of salt.

I have done some research and will be attending my first local Naranon meeting on Monday!

I went through similar things with my now ex ah. After we separated I found his journals from when he was in rehabs. He was in several rehabs and so there was several journals. In the earlier ones he would talk about how much he loved me and how he wanted to quit crack and he would quit so we could have a happy life together. As the years rolled on, and his many times in rehab, I noticed what he wanted changed. He would mention that he thought is was best for me if he went his own way and and I went my own way. He did fool around on me, but always came back to me because I was the stable one. I know in his mind he thought if he left he would find someone else and he would be able to start a fresh new life just like your bf is thinking. My ah did leave, he did meet someone else, they married and had a child and he has been clean for a couple of years, but he still sends me texts every so often telling me he misses me or had a dream about me.
Some people always think its greener on the other side of the fence until they get over there and find its no different.
I think your bf thinks that he will have a fresh start if he does move on. Its like he has a new life, new friends and then your from the old life. I know this hurts to hear, but he may decide to go try that new life. It took me 4 years to finally be able to see my situation from a different point of view. I loved my ah and it almost killed me when he left, but her it is 4 years later and I am much happier, but he still isn't fully happy if he was he wouldn't be still missing his ex-wife.