Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
He was on track for a few days. He stayed here while clean. Such a pleasure being around him that way.
Until last night....
He was in such bad shape. I was sleeping when he came in. Payday....so I laid there thinking did he or didn't he. It was late almost mid night. So of course I couldn't go back to sleep until I knew. So I went downstairs and the second I saw him I knew. (Always do). He was bumping into things and cooking and eating everything in site. Which is what he does. I confronted him, and of course he denies it. I've learned not to fight when he is like this. Gets no where and he never remembers anyway.
I tried going back to sleep. The narcam at my side. Him banging stuff all night. Until I went down at 4 and he was getting dressed for work. Lost it a bit. He said mean stuff as usual. And you all know I know to let it roll. It's projection. Must say its not as easy as I would like. As I said something to him about a post he wrote when he was clean on fb. That upset him so much telling me I was mocking him. I think it was more to serve as a reminder. He had posted no once can break my shine. So I say it out loud. Says that all I do is make him feel worse and he feels bad enough. Blah blah.
So he leaves still so messed up. Walks to a bus. Texts me "where am I". Then he starts telling me not to steal his money. I'm holding it so he doesn't waste it away.
Haven't heard from him since. So I sit with the all to familiar knot and body shakes scared to get a call. This is no life for either of us. Just praying he stops this and gets back on track. If it's not too late. Ugh
Until last night....
He was in such bad shape. I was sleeping when he came in. Payday....so I laid there thinking did he or didn't he. It was late almost mid night. So of course I couldn't go back to sleep until I knew. So I went downstairs and the second I saw him I knew. (Always do). He was bumping into things and cooking and eating everything in site. Which is what he does. I confronted him, and of course he denies it. I've learned not to fight when he is like this. Gets no where and he never remembers anyway.
I tried going back to sleep. The narcam at my side. Him banging stuff all night. Until I went down at 4 and he was getting dressed for work. Lost it a bit. He said mean stuff as usual. And you all know I know to let it roll. It's projection. Must say its not as easy as I would like. As I said something to him about a post he wrote when he was clean on fb. That upset him so much telling me I was mocking him. I think it was more to serve as a reminder. He had posted no once can break my shine. So I say it out loud. Says that all I do is make him feel worse and he feels bad enough. Blah blah.
So he leaves still so messed up. Walks to a bus. Texts me "where am I". Then he starts telling me not to steal his money. I'm holding it so he doesn't waste it away.
Haven't heard from him since. So I sit with the all to familiar knot and body shakes scared to get a call. This is no life for either of us. Just praying he stops this and gets back on track. If it's not too late. Ugh
As someone said to me...this stuff ain't for sissies
Wouldn't it be better for him to be away until he's been clean for a significant amount of time? Being at home is not helping him or YOU more importantly.
ALL you can do is hope and pray, as you know. I've learned through therapy and reading that if our well being depends on our addict's recovery, we are doomed. As unnatural as it is, we must try/practice detachment. That can be excruciating but it's the only way we'll survive and have a life that's not a living hell. I know I'm not telling you anything you don't already know! I just want you to be ok because you have control over that, not your addict. Some of the moms at my NA meetings are preparing themselves for the death of their addicted adult children. Nothing could be sadder for me. But if they had cancer, at some point you may have to do the same. It's unimaginable, and I'm not saying for you to do that, I'm saying it because it shows how this disease is really out of our hands! They are like a drowning person who pulls down and drowns the person trying to save them. No parent should let that happen unless you gave them the heroin in the first place!
We're here for you. We feel your pain. Do what you know is right and reach out for support! Take care of YOURSELF!
I say this with love and understanding. Big hug to you!
I know what I have to do its just that I'm tired of having to do it. Last night was brutal. But didn't want the police here with my neighbors at 3am. That sucks
I know we all know what it feels like standing in these shoes. nothing should surprise me anymore yet somehow this one threw me. I guess I let
My guard down
Big hugs.