Both of my sons went sideways after their father died in 2006...They both became addicted to Oxycontin around the end of 2007...Their addiction started when one of my sons co-employee gave him a blue to help with his depression....A few stints in rehab and jail and just plain total craziness...Both sons are clean ( over 7 months now )...I still haven't left my guard down and probably won't ( if ever ) for a very long time....They both now have Hepititus C from shooting this drug up ( it is just like synthetic Heroin )....Both have seriously diseased livers and my youngest son will need a liver transplant ....Print this off and let your daughter read this....She is playing with fire....This is an incredibly tough addiction to get off of because it takes so long after one stops to actually feel human again...They become incredibly sick during withdrawal...It is like a Mega case of the flu along with night after night of insomnia...But it is possible. I had to create a prison like environment with both of them for awhile...However, I held the keys to the castle...$$$ and a bed to sleep in !! Get ready!!!! I thought I was pretty strong but there addiction almost took me down with them.. I almost imploded emotionally and physically due to constant surveillance and firmness on my part...You will have moments...Trust me.!!

Good luck and God Bless ( hugs hugs hugs to you, your husband and your daughter...

I am sure she is sincere...It is a terrible life...!!! A Rapid Detox Program really got both of my sons over the initial hard part....Relapses happened but were only temporary....

They both have to take UAs also and so far so good.!!

hi momneeds ~ sorry to hear your daughter's story... sounds somewhat like mine, only my son I'm sure has been a user for a couple years now... He is in the process of being transferred between 2 counties for Probation violations... and i have been wondering the same as you... I am sure he will come back home when he gets out (because they never seem to order him into treatment after jail... we are praying for him to find another living situation/sober house...) what in the world do we put in a "contract" that will give us leverage to make him abide by our rules... I have one friend that says we should make him live in the garage with a "porta-potty". I don't think I could do that... Hope you come up with some good ideas... Kim

The contract will say what is expected of her. No drug use, she needs to get a job, contribute to helping around the house. No hanging with the old friends. If she does use what will be the consquences, most people relapse. That she continues to go to meetings or talk with an addictions counselor.
Found a study where they found the genes linked with addiction. So it is not always a choice, there are some other issues.
Trust takes time.

After going through all of that with my son for twelve years, I now know what I would have put in a contract had I'd been told to do so way back in the beginning. #1 would have been absolutely no drug use and if I suspected he was using, he must agree to a drug test. If it turned out positive, he must leave. #2 Must have a job of some kind and pay rent. #3 Break all contacts with old "friends". And #4, if I caught him stealing from us or anyone else, I would call the police. It took me too, too many years to get tough and realize now in the long run, that would have been way more beneficial to him than all my enabling. It is just so difficult when it is your child. I wish you and your family the best.

GrannyJo ~ thank you! I may "steal' your ideas for a contract is Sam comes back to our home. Blessings, Kim

Nothing stays the same...Things can change for the better!! What happens to us does not matter. What we become through those experiences is all that is significant. This is life...!!

These are some of the steps I have taken to get my sons attention. I have written two of my sons out of my will...They are aware of this...I let them know that this can change after they stay clean and change their lifestyle ( habits, friends, employment ) etc...I am also the Trustee for their late father's trust so I can take these steps even further if needed....My Trust attorney basically spelled this out to them during an appointment they had to be present for...I did this in 2010.
My middle son had to sell his car to pay me back for money he stole from me in 2009...He also quit claimed his portion of their later father's home to me...This son has also written & published a book on his addiction and recently won a contest and was awarded first prize in a National Literary contest held by a famous literary agency "Eaton Literary Agency"...

My youngest son will most likely need a liver transplant within the next 5 years...His doctors at the Mayo Clinic said that he has to prove he can overhaul his lifestyle ( healthy diet, no alcohol, no drug abuse, etc ) to show them he will be a good candidate for a transplant...He has done so since they laid it out to him after several visits to different specialists at the clinic...My middle son that wrote the book has become my best supporter through out this incredible ordeal...!!

My oldest son supports me from afar the best that he can ! He moved several states away in 2008 just to escape the madness of my other sons addictions. I am glad he is far way...He is independent, happy, healthy and I am very proud of him.

Many people ( professionals in finance and medicine , family , friends ) advised me to throw the two addicted sons out and turn my back on them when they were both in full blown addiction back in 2009...That was never an option for me...that was not the path I could justifiably except within my heart. The path I chose and am still on has been an incredible journey for me and my family...We have become one in this battle and the war is not yet over...However, there is always devastation after every battle...Now we are rebuilding!!

My prayers are with all who are just entering their own personal battles of addiction ( parents and the addicts as well )...There ain't no Mcdonalds fix to this problem. What is the old saying "If It Was Easy Everybody Would Be Doing It". We can endure and we will survive. I refused to retreat and turn my back but it has been a wild wild ride...Whew!!

Good luck fellow warriors....and God Bless.
Rebe

I Thank you all for all your thought's suggestions and prayers. Grannyjo I will deffently add those to the contract. This is all new to us as a family. My husband and I have had other trials and tribulations in our 25 years together. And together we will survive.