Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...

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dmatt124 07/28/2012

My friends first I want to thank you for never allowing me to stop believing or giving up hope on my son. Today he celebrates 6 months sober. Every night I send him a text that reads, I love you, goodnight. The other night he wrote back, thank you for staying by my side, I wrote, " thank you for giving me my son back".... In that moment I realized that 6 months ago, I whispered to my husband as we were on our last bit of hope I can't give up on him and we drove him to the airport, so he could hop at plane to go to rehab. Today I realize that while he is on his path to recovery so is our family. We are learning about addiction, what to do, what not to do, we are healing from the inside out, we have learned how to take the anger and re-direct it toward the monster and not allow him to ever, ever try to rip us apart again. I am learning each day to trust, but the greatest part of my recovery is about truly never giving up hope and believing. saying it isn't enough, you must believe with every fiber of your being for it to become a reality. Today I wear three bracelets on my wrist one is a cross, the others say HOPE and BELIEVE. I have a saying in my office that the journey on the road to success is one step at a time, with a man traveling up a very high mountain, with detours and obstacles along the way, when I look at it each morning it takes on a whole new meaning, because it is no longer about success, it is life. Thank you all for helping me in my own recovery and like my son, all of you staying by my side.Hugs, Dee

deleted_user 07/28/2012

thank you for the inspiring words...

my ex bf is an alcoholic and we just started talking again and he has a lot going on in his life right now, his ex wife died unexpectantly and now he has his 8 year old daughter to care for......

he knows that he cannot drink like he used to, but he has not fully admitted that he is an alcoholic......but it is a step in the right direction.....I will start to believe that he will get better thanks to your inspiring words.

am so happy for your son and your family hugs

steph01 07/29/2012

I'm not on this group much anymore cause I lost my hubby but I wanted to tell you I'm so happy ur son is sober! Recovery isn't just for them ur right. We are there every step. I tried everything and stood by my hubby the whole way and even though his addiction ended his life, I'm a little happy I never gave up on him. I was the one person who never walked away. Anyways I'm really happy for you!

katrinka 07/29/2012

I am so happy to hear he has 6 months sober.....that's a big accomplishment. I'm glad you didn't give up on him he is young and has his whole future ahead of him.
Shellie28 Its good not to give up on a person, but it is better to be on the side lines, be supportive but don't be dragged into their drama. If anything I would not get involved with someone who doesn't think they have a have a real problem. A lot has to do with the age of the addict, the drug of choice, and the environment they were raised in.

dmatt124 07/29/2012

Thank you so much, steph I know you were buy your husbands side and ever did give up, I hope you can find peace in knowing tht and also that your husband no longer has to suffer nd struggle, he is at peace, katrinka thank you my friend, you have supported me along this journey and for that I thank you.xxoo

blueviolet725 07/29/2012

the best. the very best. Life isn't instantly easy...but it is honest. So so beyond happy for him, for you, and all the people who love him. Isn't it amazing how much stronger we are than we thought?

dmatt124 07/29/2012

Oh blue, yes. I always considered myself a very strong person but then all of the sudden I was being torn apart piece by piece but it was you and the others that helped me put my gloves on and get back in the ring. thank you more than you will ever know xxoo

DepressedRecluse 07/30/2012

Yes I agree...Recovery is for everyone...we all need recovery from something!...That's all!

deleted_user 07/30/2012

Thank you Dee. Reading your post makes me so happy for you! It also gives me hope for my son.. The poster in your office is perfect. It reminds me if a saying I repeat often: "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" (Lao Tzu). I would like to find a picture of Mt Everest and put that saying underneath, because this mountain I face is huge!

I need to remember to not give up in him and to hate his addiction, but love him. I am going to start each day with these mantras.

Thank you and I wish you and your family continued blessings.

beantown 07/30/2012

My son's been in jail for two months awaiting trials on drug-related crimes and I must admit that I often find myself hopeless that he can find the strength to reconstruct his life (he's only 25) and that his father and I find the courage to reshape ours. There's been so much suffering on either side. Your post makes feel so happy for you and for your son and gives me hope that maybe there's a better future for our family. I pray that both he and you continue to heal and forge a new path forward. Thanks for sharing this beautiful message of hope and redemption.

deehigs 07/30/2012

dee the only thing that would make me happier is when sean and matt are both celebrating a sober anniversary. we have become such good friends out of such a terrible situation so I guess the old saying is true every cloud has a silver lining. congratulations to sean 6 months is so awesome. you deserve this dee you have put your heart and soul into sean and I am thrilled with his progress keep up the good work sean your mom is beaming with pride ! love you dee

deleted_user 08/05/2012

I realized this today when I went to the family meeting at rehab. I didn't realize how hard everything is until it was pointed out. And congrats to you and your son for getting your lives back

jainlor 08/07/2012

new to this; found out about 4 months ago that my son needed help for drugs even though we suspected many times and were hoping it was getting better when he was living on his own. he is now in a drug treatment facility for his problems and i am going to weekly meetings for my own issues and learning what to do and not do. we have unknowingly enabled him through the years lending him money and believing his lies.

deleted_user 08/07/2012

This is such wonderful news and wish you all the best. It is so true that we (the non-addicts) are in recovery along with our addicted loved ones and that to give up on hope is something I know I could never live with. I'm sure I speak for almost everyone going through this when I say we all had such high hopes for our sons, daughters and loved ones - only now it's a different kind of hope. For life, mended relationships, renewed trust, and a future free from addiction. ~~Blessings to all~~

cardinal39 08/07/2012

Wooho ,,, dee,,, your so right conquer one mountain at a time,, it not about the breath we take,, it's what takes our breath away,, together we have all been through so many different paths on this journey,, one day would love Katelin, Sean and Matt meet,,

I agree also with Katrina, I think standing by an addict and never giving up hope,, depends on the ,,, scene ,, sometimes being on the sidelines is really only a choice

Steph ,,, I've watch the love you shared for your husband,, and sometimes they can never surrender to their demons,, that's what is so ugly about this addiction .,, I'm sure you peace knowing your husband will never have to fight with the monster

I am a firm believer where there is life there is hope ,, there are moments that I want to strangle and hug my addict at the same time ,, we will always be in recovery as well as the addict for the rest if their life

It's not the breath we take,,, but what takes our breath away

Peace

Sean,,,, your a brillant handsome young man,, continue on with your journey,, proud of you

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