Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
Well I madeu Christmas with my addict. It went fine until she called and asked for a ride. Like a fool I picked her up. I was so mad at her, but mostly myself. When will I ever learn I thought. I said things that weren't nice.
On Weds she admitted to having a hospital addiction and a morphine issue. The hospital addiction is called "Munchhausen", she says she just loves to go to the hospital, everything involved including the drugs.
Anyways her insurance called today and said they would get her a rental till the end of the month, but she had to go 2 hours away to get her stuff out of her totaled car. She called an asked if I would use my credit card for a deposit, I said nope. But I ended up giving her 50 for a deposit. Again stupid me. I was angry at her, I said no rides, I gave her a ride. I said no money, I gave her money. I guess I was feeling weak. I said awful things to her, I just get so angry at her.
So long story short she was to go to my moms till Monday when she can get to her car. My mom called and said she hadn't heard from hear and that she should have been there by then. I told her not to expect her, if she has any chance to go to an emergency room she will go.
I told my mom I didn't want to hear about my daughter, it causes me so much stress. And it is not fair what she does to my mom either.
She asked if I was worried, I said nope that what she does.
I do believe addicts are selfish, lying, conniving. using individuals. Only worried about them self's. I wished I hadn't given her the money. So she couldn't get her stuff out of the car, who care
Does anyone out there ever feel so torn.
I'm going to move forward take one day at a time and try not to beat myself up over my mistakes I also decided its time to pack my daughters room up, store her stuff till she has a place fort them. And turn her room into my sewing room. It has been 9 months since she moved out, and she will not be moving back here. She is 31 time to grow up. I told her today what my plans were and she was upset, my husband said is it suppose to be a shrine to her..
Guess what I just heard from her, she is in the hospital in my moms town
.
On Weds she admitted to having a hospital addiction and a morphine issue. The hospital addiction is called "Munchhausen", she says she just loves to go to the hospital, everything involved including the drugs.
Anyways her insurance called today and said they would get her a rental till the end of the month, but she had to go 2 hours away to get her stuff out of her totaled car. She called an asked if I would use my credit card for a deposit, I said nope. But I ended up giving her 50 for a deposit. Again stupid me. I was angry at her, I said no rides, I gave her a ride. I said no money, I gave her money. I guess I was feeling weak. I said awful things to her, I just get so angry at her.
So long story short she was to go to my moms till Monday when she can get to her car. My mom called and said she hadn't heard from hear and that she should have been there by then. I told her not to expect her, if she has any chance to go to an emergency room she will go.
I told my mom I didn't want to hear about my daughter, it causes me so much stress. And it is not fair what she does to my mom either.
She asked if I was worried, I said nope that what she does.
I do believe addicts are selfish, lying, conniving. using individuals. Only worried about them self's. I wished I hadn't given her the money. So she couldn't get her stuff out of the car, who care
Does anyone out there ever feel so torn.
I'm going to move forward take one day at a time and try not to beat myself up over my mistakes I also decided its time to pack my daughters room up, store her stuff till she has a place fort them. And turn her room into my sewing room. It has been 9 months since she moved out, and she will not be moving back here. She is 31 time to grow up. I told her today what my plans were and she was upset, my husband said is it suppose to be a shrine to her..
Guess what I just heard from her, she is in the hospital in my moms town
.
I absolutely know how torn you feel. Addicts are very difficult people.
I can tell you that boundaries, not enabling, consequences are the best things we can do for them. It is so heartbreaking that it has to be this way but it is what is best for them & not easy on us...I know.
Thank you for your post..we do need each other.
It is also time for me to cut all ties with my daughter for awhile.. Its the only way for me to heal. I cannot take the stress of her issues.
And really why should I have to. Enough is enough.
They have to find their own way. I think if you want to help them ...don't help them.
You have every right to a life without their chaos and harm.
I hate that we have to deal with this. I hate that we allow it to happen. I hate that we continuously get caught up in this tangled web.
How do you find the strength to do what needs to be done?
Coming from the other end being an ass hole to my loved ones with my drug addiction relayed to my eating disorder, it wasn't until everyone turned their backs on me that I realized if I want a normal life I had to do this on my own.
Sometimes letting go is all you can do. Onions lay answering g phone calls and staying in Touch IS fine, but not giving $ and helping out less might be what the addict needs to be pushed knot helping themselves?
My husband is an alcoholic an I'm struggling with how I deal with his addiction. It sucks. He is totally functioning and had no problems besides subjecting his wife and kids to his drinking. I'm not helping pay extra in bills or towards his responsibility because if he spends in on booze he can figure it out. Also I am getting an Apartment so I have a place to go if things go south and that would be his rock bottom . Coming home to no family