Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...

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real feelings

marg6300
marg6300
So the wedding was over a week ago and then they went on their honeymoon and I took care of my two year old grandson . It was all very beautiful and hectic and emotional and I felt truely blessed with this amazing family I have that is healthy and happy. I did not let myself think about my 24 year old addicted son who relapsed one week before this event... My kids will all leave tomorrow and then I will allow myself to think about my lost son... I have been reading a story about a 6 year old with scitzophrenia and its heartbreaking but it has made me realize my son has major mental illness, no he may not have scitzophrenia but he does have voices in his head that make him totally self conscious, to the point where he has been self medicating since he was 12 years old.
I guess I never realized how bad that must of made him feel and why he must of felt like he had to take something ANYTHING just to make the voices be quiet in the meantime he got addicted and now he sits in jail.
We treat folks with cancer with all kinds of compassion and medication but our mentally ill get shortchanged. We don't always admit it or if we do and we finally ask for help the help that is available is so lacking.....
this is the sad state I am in and I know there must be others who feel this frustration... this is what happened to my son and I think it took me too long to figure this out and sadly will I ever be able to get him the help that he needs?
deleted_user
deleted_user
it is sad, I often look at my ex husbands life, at the fact that he has untreated mental problems, and that his life just spirals and I find myself soemtimes feeling very sad for him.... but then I realize that our addicts had other options, he could have taken counseling and medication or had himself put into inpatient treatment... addicts ARE sick... and a lot of times addicts also have mental illness that goes along with that, but it is an illness with a treatment.

I can'tdon't let myself get sucked down by feeling too sorry for my ex... his life is hard, but a lot of that is self-inflicted and teh rest CAN be managed. I wil not give him pity, I will try to give him respecta nd dignity and expect that even with mental illness he lives by the same expectations of conduct as everyone else.

i am sorry you're son is going throuigh this.. I hope he can find his way out.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi Marg, so happy that you had a great family gathering and the wedding turned out well for you. I can totally relate to your frustrations with the state of dealing with, treating and living with mental health & addiction issues. Duel diagnosis for short. My son has been going through identical issues and the sad part is he had so many chances to get help but threw it all away. I remember being with him during counseling sessions and rebelling against everything we and the doctors were trying to do for him. He'd snicker, pout, swear, loose his temper then tell us we're wasting money. See for him it was easier being a lazy addict than working toward recovery and the bottom line in all this was he didn't want our help. So now after spending 4-mos in county jail he's been released (as an adult) with nothing and is now forced to sink or swim out of the huge hole he dug himself into. We want to help him but he needs to work for it and start climbing out, and we're willing to meet him halfway. It's my opinion that kids of his generation have the attitude of entitlement and think things should be handed them on a silver platter. Anyway, don't beat yourself up over things that you can't control and wait for those that you can control. ~~HUGS~~ to a great mom!
deehigs
deehigs
Your all absolutely correct. The lack of resources is unbelievably frustrating. I had no idea just how lacking it was till I was living in this situation. My son is classified as Dual Diagnosis as well. The sad part is they just stick these people in jail with no help with the cause of why they ended up there to begin with and they do their time get released and often end up right back in jail again. I don't understand when is someone that can do something to change it is going to step up ?
blueviolet725
blueviolet725
A friend of mine is in Nami...national association for the mentally ill. He said it has really helped him and his wife.