Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...

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susan55 03/26/2015

I dropped my 27 year old son off at rehab (voluntarily) 2 weeks ago tomorrow. So far no call to come pick him up thankfully. He has called a few times and we have chatted for just a few minutes. He sounds good/alive/a real living person! One of his friends (currently "sober", told me that opiates "steal your soul"). He has signed a release for me to get information about him, but I have not made any contact with his counselor. I have not visited him, but he said he was going to arrange for a visitation Sunday. I realize that he doesn't have a way to be in contact with me on a regular basis. I have not heard from his counselor. Should I be "pushy" and call her? Quite frankly, I am so glad he is in there and staying the course that I'm afraid to rock the boat. Thanks for any and all advice. I realize the real work will begin when he gets out in 3 weeks unless he gives up before he is done. I am hoping and praying he does the entire program. He promised he will.

lippylaurs1 03/27/2015

Im new here but i have my own group supporting families and friends of alcoholics on facebook.
Take this time to focus on yourself. treat yourself maybe just your favourite movie with ice cream because we often forget that we are people too. We spend most of the time running around like a headless chicken looking after everyone else. I wish you well xx

hopingforsunnydays 03/27/2015

Hi Susan55,

So happy to hear this, I know, our son would go into rehab and bolt after a week....so this time around (the 6th, 7th or maybe the 8th time now)I held my breath, Tuesday will mark his 60th day!

I wouldn't hesitate to reach out to his counselor, I know the feeling, you want to, but afraid of the 'conversation' and what might ensue. Sometimes I'm afraid to 'know' anything and want to keep that pic in my mind of him doing well and happy etc....but if you feel the absolute need to know, I would call. It is a GREAT show that he signed the release, take that as a positive sign, that he will 'allow you in', to give you 'peace of mind'. Says alot! Go with your heart. Maybe go for a visit and sit with his counselor, that might be easier, the face to face?

Prayers for his recovery to continue.

In the meantime, do something for YOU. We have to care for our selves, spoil ourselves at times. It's a MUST, whether it's an at home facial mask or a nice hot tub with a good book....do something for YOU.

Wishing much success for him! ;) *hugs*

blueviolet725 03/28/2015

I didn't hear from my son for about 6 weeks into his stay...and that was to call us from his counselor's office and ask us to come to a family rehab meeting.
it is all focused on them. I am happy you heard anything at all.
it is their journey.

totalsupport 03/31/2015

Hi everyone I'm new to this site. I know all the times my son has been in rehab there is a mandatory black out period when they can have no contact AT ALL with anyone. He is currently at his 6th rehab and thank God we found it. It is a 12month residential rehab. It works on body and soul and helps in healing the addicts feeling of self worth. He is currently working and paying me child support (I have custody of my 6 year old grandson). As I have learned most 30 day programs do not work but, this one is really working on helping him change his addictive behaviors not just detoxing. I never heard from my son's counselor at any of the rehabs I thought they weren't allowed to disclose anything maybe, I'm wrong.
Glad I found you all and hugs!!!

susan55 03/31/2015

Soooooo. I visited my son on Sunday & it was a great visit. The time frame was 5-7pm. Surprised myself and was there the whole time. He looked great, sounded great and we had a good conversation. He says he will be done on April 13. I spoke with his counselor (he signed a release and is fine with it) and she is recommending another week until April 20. So far he says "No". When I spoke with his counselor she said he is "very intelligent" and a "high functioning addict". Does this mean he thinks he is smarter than everyone else and can outwit them? He admitted to me he has been a manipulator and has treated some people badly and has done some "bad" things that he needs to do what he can to "make amends". He reminded me that I cannot "babysit" him when he gets out. He has a problem "sharing" and has since he was maybe 4 or 5. The counselor says he is doing fine with that as far as she knows and he is reaching out to "newbies" to help them. I have a funny Easter card I am going to send him and I want to stick a note in it about sticking it out for "one more week". I am both encouraged and scared.

blueviolet725 04/01/2015

I hope he does what they suggest. I am glad the visit went so well. I am sure they will give him a plan of action for when he gets out.

set the boundaries now. enjoy the peace.

Misssy2 04/04/2015

I wouldn't call unless I had a pressing question.
Otherwise...relax and enjoy your peace. :)

If the counselor has a question for you...they will call you..and that is where the release is helpful...but otherwise.....enjoy your moments....I would just be praying this is it...and none of us have to suffer anymore.

Enjoy your Easter if it is a celebration you acknowledge. :)

Misssy2 04/04/2015

Oh...I just read all the posts.so you have had contact....he doesn't want to stay for an extra week..:(....yes, the card is a great idea...I hope he stays...I mean whats another week after this long?

Maybe he feels cooped up and was looking forward to being free.
God bless him...and you...best of luck...

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