Oh, my. I have been on this site reading other's posts almost daily since I joined sometime in October or November. My husband (not my son's father) has had enough of my son's irresponsibility and cornered me about just what was going on shortly before the holidays. He asked lots of questions, most of which I do not have the answers for. I told him I was pretty sure he was not working nor going to school. He asked questions about my son's unopened mail from attorneys, certified mail he did not pick up, etc. I have no answers and will not open my son's mail. Besides being in and out of the house, my son has not asked me for any money or anything else for months. My husband blew up via email just before Christmas and said some very horrible things about me, my son, my parenting, etc. He included his 2 adult daughters and one of my 3 brothers (who happens to be an attorney). My husband's oldest daughter called me just sobbing the next day and offered her support in whatever I felt I need to do. We got through the holidays, but it was quite strained. I told him I would not allow him or my son to take away my holiday joy and I did pretty well with that. My son went with me to my parent's for a couple of days and it was awful. All he did was "nod" and sleep. Everyone was very concerned, so I briefly filled them in. Now that the holidays are over, my husband insists (rightfully so) that we discuss this issue and do something. I insisted that we could not alone discuss such an emotionally charged issue. He agreed to go to a counselor with me and our appointment is tomorrow. I am absolutely scared to death of how the appointment is going to go. My husband is a "black or white" kind of guy and I don't know if he and I can agree. I know something has to be done and am willing to set boundaries (which my son always abides by which surprises my counselor), but I am not ready to completely cut him off or cut his cell phone off. The phone is sometimes my only link to him for days at a time and he always responds. He does not want/demand things and keeps me out of his "drama". The phone/text exchanges are usually more of "I love you" and "What are you up to"? He always answers. We never fight. He just constantly tells me to worry about something else, not him. He got himself into a methadone clinic. I feel that he has since high school had a huge depression problem (runs in my family) that he would never address and it is a vicious cycle that is ruining his life. He told me the other day when we seemed to be having a "real" conversation that he just has quit caring about much of anything. It breaks my heart. He knows that my husband and I are seeing a counselor about him tomorrow and he knows how highly anxious I am about it. I hope my husband and I are able to really "communicate" effectively and come to an agreement or my life may change drastically. Thanks for listening.