Ah yea absoulty ,, enabling a heroin addict , is no different then the dealer selling to them,,, you most deffinetly need to tell your mom, he is living in her property ,, he is stealing from you guys,, is that ok,,,??

Your dealing with an addict,, you honestly think he is going to tell you, what you need to do,, is drug test him, which he going to drop dirty,, the take him to your local hospital to detox,,, don't baby him,,, until there is a bed ready at the rehap,,,so his consequences for stealing,, is he gets the comforts of home

I think you should at the very least tell your mom about the missing stuff. She should have the ability to make her own choices. I don't think there is really any right answer but I personally think if he's enabled to live a drug lifestyle he'll keep living it. I think your intervention idea is a good one but don't know you'll get him to admit stealing or whatever.

I think that you should tell your mom, since she has the right to know and if she found out later that you knew, she would probably be upset. But, after you tell her, I would allow her to do whatever she wants to do about it. Don't allow yourself to get sucked back into his mess! Take care of yourself! i know this is troubling for you. I'm sure others will chime in soon!

If i recall correctly I thought you posted that you didn't think it was a good idea for your mom to take him in for exactly this reason ( i hope i'm not mixing you up with someone else it's been awhile) anyway I think your mom has a right to know if he is taking her stuff and i think if you do an intervention ( which is a great idea) you might have better results if you are all on the same page and he has nowhere else to go Good luck I hope he takes this chance you will be offering him to change his life. Dee

Dee, you are right I did post that it wasn't a good idea for my mom to take him in because of his past and she knew everything he had done to me as far as stealing, lying ect.., but she did it anyway and acted like I was a terrible mom because I wouldn't let him come back home with me. I have tried to separate myself from it all, but it's hard now that I have found out that she has another item missing from her home, and I know all the things that I know about the money and the checks he's taken from his dad I just feel its time she knows what's going on especially since I have the proof. I don't want my son to keep manipulating her and stealing from her. My mom is coming over tonight so wish me luck. My son needs help, and I really hope he realizes that!

Tlc , I know it's hard seperating from your child,,, going through that right now, she is living in a three quarter house, she can not live here in our home if she continues to use,, but we set those boundaries, and stuck by them,,, tough love does not mean stop loving, or turn your back,, it means protect yourself,, addicts when using unfortunately don't care about who they hurt, or who they love,,, they don't even care about themselves, however they have to have a reason,, call it hope to quit,,,, until the addiction becomes worse then the pleasure of the drug they have no reason to stop,,, our kids are young,, read done if these post,,, some if the addicts are husbands, wife's ,,, our kids do have a chance to recover if they feel the consequences ,,, if we keep feeding them their addiction, we are destroying them,,,, they steal from us,,, because they know it's to hard for us to call the police in them,,,, but we are not helping them ,,,

My addict us 23 years old,,, spendt 6 months in jail due to her addiction, she has been out 2 months,,, not even being with her daughter stopped her from using,,,, we don't even realize we are enabling ,, we think of it has parenting,,, well it comes a time,,, they we have to stop,,,, I don't believe in hitting rock bottom, turning your back on your kid,,, but they have to feel it ,,, heck we are in pain , don't have the pleasure they have to numb the ache ,,,,,

Enough is enough,,,, he is living in a trailer on his grandma property ,,, that's not feeling what it's like,,,,, take him to s homeless shelter,, see what the life of using will end up Like

No one can tell you what do to, but we can tell you if the endless nightmare I've been on ,,,, break away,,,

Here for you

Tell your mom! I found that when I shared what was happening its my son and asked my family how to not be enablers they all obliged because they wanted my son well. Most people do not understand addiction, how the addict behaves and the manipulation, lies, stealing and the most unimaginable things that they will do. But they do because they are addicts. Like cardinal, boundaries and consequences if he is using, his choices are rehab or street. His choice. Those who are enabling are only prolonging him getting the help he needs. You don't have to tell your mom all the nitty gritty details, but you need to let her know what is going on, she deserves to know and you need everyone to support you as well. You are doing the right thing, I will keep you in my prayers.