Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years, living together for 1. Since we began dating he has been using cocaine to varying degrees. For years he was also abusing alcohol which, with the cocaine, led to him being a very aggressive and volatile person. Luckily he stopped drinking and has been sober of alcohol for 2 years. Unfortunately the cocaine use has continued and recently seems to be escalating, the amount of money he spends each day is ridiculous and leads to many fights between us. I am near breaking point and dealing now with depression and anxiety myself. I dont know where to start to help him. Friends/family and partners of addicts - lets give eachother some support and advice because we are the only ones who understand this position
LoriFla
Sorry for what you're going through with your Bf cocaine addiction. I'm glad you found this group because you will receive lots of support here from those of us that get it. Unfortunately there is no way that you can help him, he has to want and do that on his own. Addicts will lie and steal so maybe separate bank accounts to protect yourself so you can pay the bills.We can't control what they do nor did we cause it. My suggestion would be set boundaries, no enabling him, and get help for yourself. We get so wrapped up in their addiction and trying to fix it that we fail to realize we are in need of help ourselves.Read old posts here in the group and try to find a face to face meeting NA, Naranon, Alanon, for yourself. Don't give up hope.
deleted_user
I agree that you cannot help him... he can only help himself and he'll have to want to do so.. Since he gave the alcohol, there's a chance he will get help for the cocaine addiction too. I wish you all the strength in the world. Finding this website has already been a great relief to me and I hope it will be like that for you, too
learnasigo
I posted this in another discussion group, I had been reading the post of cocaine addition and recovery.. I'm glad I found this one. Here it is... I found this site last year while searching to understand my husbands struggles in an effort to help him as well as myself. This site has helped me so much. We have been married almost 4 years. The first was wonderful. Then crack took its hold on him again. I didnt realize he had a habit at the magnitude he did before we meet. The first year we were together, he didnt use crack. I know when it started up again. Last December was the first time he ever went to rehab. He was only there 3 weeks. He got out and thought he could make it on his own. I wish he would go to a support group. Just 2 days ago, he finally agreed to look at this site. It hasnt happened, yet. It is extremely hard to be supportive and not give up hope. He is out getting high right now. I know he wants to stop. It has been an almost every day occurrence now for about 4 months and not much better than that before then. I also have both of my brothers also struggling with crack addiction. I get very angry and have focused my anger at the suppliers. I have all their numbers. Sometimes I think they allow him to call them over and over before they call him back because they get off on it in some sick way. I know its not them I should be angry with. Its him. Ive never seen a person hang their head in such shame. Its heart breaking. We dont fight anymore about it much. Yes, he used to start arguments as an excuse to get away. I could eventually see right through it and called him on it. I would also get angry and yell and scream. Then I realized, in my case anyway, that it only pushed him farther away. Depression has also become an issue for me. Ive lost my goals. Its like Im smothering in a fog. But in the past few days it has gotten a little better. I understand what youre going through and Im sorry. (I hear that word a lot too). I need him so badly. But he cant help me with what Im going through. He is the cause of it. Ive gotten through that just recently.. I know Ill be okay. "
Join the Conversation