I'm sorry for what you are going through. You are exactly on the right track with this. I'm a year ahead of you. My son was 18 last year when he quit OxyContin and understands that he needs to stay away from opiates. However, he has never seen that marijuana and alcohol are a big deal. Everyone does it, so there's no reason to stay away. Besides, he told me, he doesn't even like alcohol.

As soon as marijuana and alcohol became his only option, they became his drugs of choice. He is well on the way to becoming an alcoholic, if he isn't already. (He just completed an assessment two weeks ago and the conclusion was suspected alcohol dependency.)

He is also on probation, and underage, and can not be using marijuana or alcohol. Not only that, but he keeps getting into more legal trouble, including fines, related to marijuana and alcohol. In the past year he received a DUI (thousands of dollars and no license since last May), was fined $300 for marijuana possession and $200 for underage alcohol consumption.

Stick to your guns, but realize that it's not in your control. My one piece of advice is that if he has access to your car, don't let him drive. My son was about to pull onto a highway with two kids in the car and a blood alcohol content of .19. I read the police report and was horrified what kind of condition he was in. Never again. We sold the car.

Thanks Donna I'm sorry for you as well. Unfortunately they sound like twins. It is just so damn frustrating ! I can't even believe sometimes this is the kid that i raised. Peace to all of us! Dee

Sometimes you have to step back and let your addict take control of their sobriety. You can tell them until you are blue in the face they shouldn't drink, but they are gonna argue the point. But I never had a problem drinking! No maybe not, but your brain doesn't realize this and it says oh this is just alcohol so its okay drink away.
I use to tell ah, "so I never had a crack problem so I should be able to use crack, right?" He never did get it. In the early part of sobriety he would first say, I know I can't drink or do anything. Except as the mind and body start to heal he would forget how it really was. Kind of like it you ever had a weight problem, you lose 50 pounds. So there is a get together and some cake, one that is especially good. So you take a small piece and before you know it you've gained not 50 but 60 lbs back. The brain has a way of tricking us into thinking it will be okay.
Since son is seeing therapist take a break from worrying and let therapist try and convince him. Sometimes it takes someone saying all the same stuff, but they listen to that person. Sometimes we are to close to the person and all they hear is nagging when really we just want whats best for them.

A drug addict is advised to stay clear of all mind altering substances. I was not an alcoholic but is was not for lack of trying. Cocaine was my drug of choice. My drug abuse altered the way I processed alcohol. Just like many addicts I insisted on having the occasional drink and viewed alcohol as a safe alternative because I didn't really like alcohol. The first 8 months of my recovery I did drink. I didn't drink much and did so 2-3 times a month. Each time I did so was a step backwards as far as my mind healing. Even small amounts of alcohol kept me in the cycle of addiction. I stopped the drinking and after about 6 weeks I was amazed at the amount of clarity I regained. One drink once a month was too much for my mind to move forward with the healing process. It has been 5 years since I have had a drink and maybe I don't have an alcohol problem but would I throw it all away for a night of intoxication? Not a chance!! Life was confusing and filled with drama, now it is simple and peaceful. I love clarity, I love life, and I never wish to go back there again. We solve nothing by substituting one substance for another. My personal opinion is that alcohol is the gateway drug to the rest and YES it is a big deal!! If it isn't a big deal then why do addiction councillors advise against it? Have we ever seen a drunk person make wise decisions? A drunk addict in recovery is even less likely of making wise choices. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see what alcohol does to our lives. Good luck, my thoughts are with you.

Katrinka You are so right ! I think that was a great analogy on the weight loss brain trick. Also you are right I am probably just his "naggy" mom and coming from someone else may ( I pray ) mean more to him Thank You and to 6 bags full Thanks and Keep up the great work with your sobriety that is awesome that you chose to actually live your life instead of "wasting" it God Bless You Dee

My daughter now 20 went through rehab last year for Roxie's her doc soon became alcohol. She finally hit rock bottom has embraced the people at her NA meetings. We did the private councilor thing too but I think it added to her confusion. We have changed her phone number, she's deleted her Facebook and made a new ONLY accepting the people that help her in her recovery. She goes to meeting 5 nights a week and they do normal things together (beach,sober dances etc). Meetings are the key! Don't give up. I had people tell me to let her go, no way! She's too young and if she's going to beat this thing it has to be now! Good luck and prayers for all of us

Hello Dee,I'm Dee too. My son is 24 roxies.He is in Sober Living in Florida,and it is 50 days. Make no mistake him saying alcohol is not a problem... is. he is only trading off one substance for another. The first time my son went into IOP he was great for six months but then the drinking started I didn't know any better, but then it led right back to the Roxies, but worse. Think of it this way, they are addicts so a part of the addiciton is that they can't get enough so they drink, but guess what the drinking isn't enough so they then they add something else, something else, and so on. I have learned that it doesn't matter what I think or feel, it is up to the addict. It doesn't mean that you give up. I have never and I will not ever give up on my son, but my son or yours cannot give up on themselves and a part of not using, is not using any substance. hugs to you.