OH yes been there done all of that. Its a fine line between believing if she really is having thoughts or just wants to get out of the house and all the reponsibility. So then we're thinking okay whens it our turn.
Is there a reason she couldn't of called her sponser?
Maybe tell her your are doing your best and would like alittle help around the house, you work why should you have to come home she leaves and now you have to take care of kids. If she had a job she would have to work around her job to get to meetings. I'm sure she feels alot of different emotions right now but she still needs to consider your feelings and helping out.
Honestly I went through this so many times it never mattered how many meetings ex made it to or how many he didn't make it too, if he wanted to use he still found away.
Plus there are online meeting is she needs someone to talk with.
Addicts are selfish and the first year they are still very self centered.

Couldn't add more to Katrinka's post if I tried. She's nailed it. Recovery is number 1, but there is no reason for not to express how you are feeling. Doesn't have to be in a negative way, just to say what you need as well. In recovery, the addict also needs to begin to become a responsible member of the family once again as well. Refresh my memory...how much clean time???

Sorry.....something else just hit me..."wrong" emotions. There are no WRONG emotions. You are feeling what you are feeling. And you have every right to feel that way. I know with my ex...we both went to meetings. He had his, I had mine and we found a way to do it. Which was a big help for me. Some meetings have child-care which was a Godsend.

Hi Mossyhorn...

I agree with the Katrinka (of course) but I also agree with Lynnedz56, that there are no wrong emotions. I go through the same thing everyday with my spouse, he is very very selfish, condescending, and arrogant; not just because he's an addict, but because thats just the way he is. For the last five years we have argueing as to who what what job. For whatever reason, he doesn't know how to function as a team member. I'm supposed do everything and he's just supposed to go to work and reap the benefits of my work. I asked him last night, how he rationalized dirtying dish after dish and expecting me to wash them; and he just got pissed off and said FINE! I'll wash my own goddamn dishes. Well thats all fine and dandy but that still doesn't help me. Anyway, before I go on long rant (which I think i already did) just let me say this. I decided that this year, I am just going to be brutally honest with him (which he hates) and concentrate on me and my son. If he reaps any rewards from that, well good for him. If he doesn't, oh well. I will continue to love him, but my focus will be on myself and my son. After all, thats what he's been doing for the last five years. And if he pisses me off, hurts me, or decides to go use, oh well, I'll just pray for him and give it to God; and continue to hold him accountable for the consequences of his actions. Hope this helps you in your situation. And I am praying for you and your family also.

DepressedRecluse

Depressed isn't the way alot of men are they work come home and think relax and do whatever they want us on the other hand work, come home, fix dinner, help kids with homework, get kids ready for bed and then in bed and then finally its time for us to to relax but no its time for bed and the whole process starts over the next day.
My first ex finally decided to do his own wash I said Good!!!. Also if they do something like wash dishes or clothes they expect a award.
Mossyhorn sorry not talking about you its just so stereo type especially for my generation of men.

Katrinka, for the longest time I thought I was doing plenty, I upkeep all vehicles, the yard ( 5 acres ) take out trash and keep all animals fed/watered. When I got divorced and saw the chore of cooking/cleaning, laundry, pick up after kids etc I realized what she did do. She doesn't care about the yard but I sure care about the clothes and dishes lol. Best way I figured to deal is tell me what u need help with if it ain't done, and vice versa.

Mossy It does sound like you do plenty I am referring more to my ex's one did do the lawn and thats about it the other couldn't keep a job and when he did do something he expected $$$ or too much praising. Both were addicts. I on the other hand do the yard, the dishes, cook, wash plus run my own business and got to college part time.