Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
I finally grew numb and indifferent to this situation regarding my husband and pornography. I have let it control my every move out of fear. I see a therapist and I join these online support groups, I am even starting a face to face support group Tuesday. Though I couldn't feel more alone. I live two states away from any family or friends, and before all this came out that was how I liked it. Once all this came out I longed for my best friend back home... but seems as if the two people I confided in (great friends) have vanished. I don't need them to hold me up but a listening ear would have done the trick. It may not have fixed everything but I would have felt a bit better. I have decided besides my therapist it is better to just keep quiet and keep to myself. Now I face isolation. I haven't spoken to my husband about my feelings, I don't feel I can. I am scared that too much damage has been done that it is beyond repair... I don't even sit next to him on the couch any more. The man I look at that I once desired and felt passionately about is a total stranger... I sleep next to a man I thought I was my husband. I feel so ambivalent at this point. I want to be close to him and to know that everything will be alright as long as we work at it, I want to know that he is still a safe place to go to... but at the very same time how do I even get close to him anymore. I am so hurt, yet I don't feel a thing. I just want to know if and how it's possible to get close to an addict again and feel the intimacy!
you probably want that level of privacy while you decide what to do about your relationship.
My addict was alcohol...but the sharing of his problem was a problem for me...do I protect his reputation and maybe mine, or do I kill the sick secret? In the end, lots more knew than I wanted because of his arrests and TV court appearances. But once you decide to share with someone it can never be undone...so take it slow.
You have lots to decide and process...do you stay if he doesn't change? can you stay if he does? what are the boundaries? What does he want to do? does he see it as a problem?
Meanwhile, like dealing with any addict, all we can do is take care of ourselves.
There is a verse of scripture from the Bible I have leaned into many times in my life. It's from Hebrews chapter 12...
"And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
I hope that will encourage you today. Hang in there. Blessings.