Unfortunately you cannot stop her from going back to drugs if she chooses to, but you can step back and let her handle her addiction problem. She may only be texting because she does not want to hear you on a fishing expedition as to what she is or isn't doing. As a parent your worried and concerned, but she is now considered an adult so let her try to succeed. She may relapse but that is all part of quitting. I know this is hard and with her so far away but give it time hopefully she will stay clean. When addicts first get clean it is hard on them and they do not know what to say or how to act. What you are feeling is completely normal, try to learn to detach and keep telling yourself this is out of your control.

Thank you. I just wish the tears and heart ache would ease. I know you are right and I really appriciate this site, I live in a area where there is no support groups and this is all so new to me I just feel so alone sometimes. I have not heard from her since yesterday morning and she is not answering my calls. Thanks again.

Welcome,,,,your in control of her money,, you were in control of putting her in rehap,,, UHm sometimes being in control is not always a good thing,,, when dealing with an addict,,, it keeps the drug use alive ,, her only communication is through text,, pretty common, the truth lies in the sound of their voice,, she is in control of you ,,, by this form of communication she is able to tell you exactly what you want to hear,, or see,,, of course they don't want to stay the amount of time we want them to,,, why because most likely they are not there by choice to begin with,,, and beware,,, addicts don't do drugs alone,,, so all those friends she claims does not,,, sorry it's a lie,, which addicts do very well,,, if the focus is taken off them,,, then there is no problem ,, oh and if you find drug stuff,, usually it's never theirs,, it's those so calked friends that you thought does not use,,, most importantly,, educate yourself,,, be two steps ahead of the addict,,, until the pain of the affliction is worse then the pleasure of the drug use,,, they have no reason to quit,,,
Your sad your do far away,,, unfortunately your addict is thrilled,, she gets an open pocket book,, can do what she wants,, and can tell you whatever you want to hear,,,

Be stronger then the addict,, this disease will consume you,,, if you allow it,,, everyone of us,, have walked in your shoes,,, we never judge, we give suggestions,, and everything we say,, comes from personal trials,,,

Peace !!

Oh and my sponser told me,,, stop calling her,, with her not answering is only effecting you,,, so put your phone away,,,,
Each miss call,, only gives them the satisfaction,,, wait for get call,,, and if she continues not answering your calls,,, then maybe she should pay the bill,,,,,

She choose to go to detox and rehab and I started to see our daughter again for the first time in a long time, so I was hoping because that was her choice she wanted to be clean but maybe not. When we showed up at her house it was 11:30 pm on Dec 12 to see if the phone call we recieved the day befor was true or not and it was. She had no food she had pawned everything she owned and was in bad shape. She had spent all her student loan money on herion and coccain She ask to come home and if we would help her to get help so we left and drove 7 hours to our home and then about 2 hours after we got home she ask to go to a detox center so we drove another 2.5 hours to UT .She spent 10 day in detox and she ask if she could go to a rehab so we said yes if thats what you really want. So its just so sad all the hard she has done I pray she is doing well still. Thank You for listing and the good advise....

Hi and welcome. Sorry it's under such circumstances.

I know what you're going through is extremely hard and frustrating but for what it's worth I'd like to point out a couple things. First are the control issue Cardinal mentioned and the fact that from what you've said you are footing the bill for her college and probably living expenses as well. If I'm correct and if it were me, I would definately want to make sure she isn't using and/or flunking out on your dime. If you agree, you probably need to turn the contol thing around. Because your dealing with her long distance, and given her history, I would require that she have periodic drug tests and that you receive mid-quarter updates on her educational progress. Otherwise you may be throwing good money after bad and unknowingly be supporting her habit. You would need to arrange for this and if she doesn't agree I would think that says it all about what she's doing.

Just look at the whole picture,, detox is simply detoxing from the waste in the body ,,, not using, means that,, 30 days in rehap is only that,,, being clean,,, that's working a program, changing a way of living,, and learning and adapting to sober living,,,
Not sure,,, if she was caught using,, and choose detox and rehap for change of life,,, or has a buyed time,,, usually a herion addict going into rehap for the first time,,, is buyed time,,,, unfortunately it takes many attempts,, which if you continue to feed into the herion,, you keep it alive,,, enabling and helping become two different styles ,
Enabling kills
Helping saves

My heart breaks for you,,, began there ,,, never give up on your daughter,,, but stop giving into the addict,,, detach it will save your daughter

Yes she is drug tested and I will have access to her grades. So I guess I need to give it some time. I do believe the Doctor will not subscribe the suboxine if she is not clean. Thank you for your help.

I think you are right give it time. Detox and 30 days is not long but some do make it. It's good she asked for help. I would keep control of her money because it sounds like she is young and money can be a trigger. She does not need access to a lot of money some colleges have food plans so she only needs a little cash. As long as hr drug test are clean and she is attending class getting good grades then it sounds like she is doing what she needs to be doing. I think you can't help but be nervous.

It must be so hard with her being so far away. I would try to assume she is doing well, keep congratulating her, etc. If she has a friend that you are sure doesn't use drugs, try to befriend them also and keep in touch. Could you make a surprise visit on a weekend?
When my son went through detox the first time, I was so naive and thought that would be enough. Of course he relapsed and he knew I was watching any money he had. So he started selling heroin to support his habit and was arrested. Detoxing in jail seemed to be what he needed to "hit bottom". He has not used heroin since Oct. 21. This time he is in a program and doing great. But he has gained 70 pounds! One thing at a time.
Good luck to you.