Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
not happy for my ex recovering addict if he is doing will it doesnt make me glad. i mean how can it be considered recovery when he doesnt have any remorse and he just chose to be selfish. will the addiction condition will always be a valid reason to be reckless and to just move on and escape your problems? i dont get and dont accept it. i know its been 8 mos but i still have strong resentment as to how he just abandoned me. he rejected me.. when i had all the reasons to reject him. i thought as long as 2 people communicate its always a good start. he did not allow me to make that choice to stay or leave. he just left. and its okay and i shd forgive and understand becos he is an addict?? i mean its okay to be silent and space out for a while. but 8mos.. there is a choice he made there right? and itsacceptable and normal for recovery to be like that?it doesnt make sense.
i know i shd be happy for him cos he is still in the program.. he seems to be attending meetings regularly and recently saw him join a 12step retreat... he has moved on... and looks peaceful and happy.. at my expense? i feel so used, rejected and i feel like im the one who lost. i read an article that sometimes the recovering addict may overtake the affected family and loved pnes in terms of wellness and recovery... why is it doubly hard for the family and loved ones affected but we cant be excused we are left at the bottom and we cant reason out that we are addicts becos we are not.
i love this ex.. but does my resentment and unforgiveness means i dont truly love him?
i know i shd be happy for him cos he is still in the program.. he seems to be attending meetings regularly and recently saw him join a 12step retreat... he has moved on... and looks peaceful and happy.. at my expense? i feel so used, rejected and i feel like im the one who lost. i read an article that sometimes the recovering addict may overtake the affected family and loved pnes in terms of wellness and recovery... why is it doubly hard for the family and loved ones affected but we cant be excused we are left at the bottom and we cant reason out that we are addicts becos we are not.
i love this ex.. but does my resentment and unforgiveness means i dont truly love him?
you need as much help and support as he does.
you have so much resentment...
all you are doing is poisoning your future.
Yes, it is remarkable that they get a support group anywhere they travel and we don't...unless, I guess we joined al anon or narc anon...
You need to focus on what you want to achieve for yourself. what your future holds. make a vision board, and focus on good things for you. I read some alanon books and ones on Buddhism, which had a lot about letting go.
And get this- he did not do anything about his recovery at your expense. He got well for him. you need to keep on working on you getting well.
Your resentment and unforgiveness are just hurting you. Wasting your time. If you want that to change, you need to make it happen. take control. DO NOT become addicted to suffering. You can change.
It is so hard ....I know...many things in life are so unfair. We have to save ourselves and not be pulled down or into this craziness.
He didn't marry her, he married the girl he was cheating on both of us with. It lasted 3 years....
BEST thing that ever happened to me. I met my husband and we have been married almost 32 years.
God can't put the right person in your life until you get rid of the wrong one. Maybe it is a gift. Focus on the kind of person you want to attract into your life. Make your life the kind of life that will attract that lovely new partner.
Just stop living in this state of resentment. There is a better plan for you....if YOU let it happen.