Ups and downs...and yesterday started as an up day, weather beautiful, close to 80 degrees, I think winter was really spring, and here is summer lol...so off to the DMV we went AGAIN to get his permit, he got his tax return in and was soooo excited, he had gone into the city to the hearings officer a week ago, so figured it was a cake walk. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? They said it wasn't put in the computer he went to the city hearings officer. He had the print out, too bad, so sad was what he got. He was FURIOUS and so was I! I told him 'let's go back in and talk to a manager'...he refused saying it wouldn't do any good. The battle was ON! So I said 'you DID go right?" he got even madder and said YES. So my view is, if you did what you were supposed to, then climb up the chain of command. He's NAVY for Gods' Sake, he should KNOW how to climb the chain! ;O) right? Well, so we get home, I decide to tend to my garden, clean it out and rake it...so hubby is with his neighbor buddy, having a couple cold ones and I start raking our hill and he makes a rather rude comment on how I'm doing it...really? I'm an adult, I'm pretty sure I KNOW HOW to rake...I had had it, I got pissed, tossed down the rake and went inside. He came in, blah blah blah....and now HE starts yelling....so needless to say, no one is talking to ME! Really? I do only good things. You need to get this done, I'm there....Yeah, I'm not working full time, but not for nothing, this house looks AWESOME because I'm home all day doing freaking house work...it has NEVER looked like this as we both worked full time or more all the time we've been together. Now I'm hearing how 'hard he works and you're doing NOTHING around here'.....oh? My! Okay....

So our son hears the fighting and now feels he is to blame for the fighting and comes in to talk to me.....

Well, not for nothing, but it IS putting a strain on us. My husband is pissed that he works all day, comes home and the kid is either napping, or heading out the door with his buddies and isn't working but one night a week and then comes home and says how 'hard' he worked...blah blah blah...
with the hubby, NOONE works harder than he..NOONE...and noone can compare to the WAY he does things as they are ALWAYS the right way and your way is the wrong way.

I guess I'm tired of it all. The fights etc.

I look back to being a single mom, I could hang a picture anytime I wanted, paint when I wanted, shop for what I wanted, never answered to anyone....now I can't even hang a picture in my own home. And if I do something he feels isn't right, it's alot of 'silence'.

And the kid, well, he feels he is doing SO much to get himself settled, and me, honestly I don't think he is trying hard enough.

So around and around we go.

I would LIKE to get on the next plane going anywhere but here. I've had enough of both of them and honestly don't like my life.

I'm sick of smelling pot in my brand new downstairs rooms. I have said it OVER and OVER again...but noone listens. (he's not smoking it in the house, but when he comes back from being out w/friends he reeks!)

I'm sick of getting up in the am to find dishes in my sink, pet peeve of mine, but noone listens.

I'm sick of walking on egg shells because no matter what I do, and if a fight starts, I'm wrong no matter what.

So that was my day yesterday. Will today be better? I highly doubt it because right now, I could care if both of them talked to me or not, I'm hoping not.

And I HAVE been looking for a job and get rejection letter after rejection letter. and GOD forbid that these places allow you to do an application on site, you have to do it online....nothing personal anymore. And then the rejections at home.

Oh, and lest not forget that the insurance company, who said my therapist WAS covered, just pay the co-pay, turned out NOT to be covered, NICE health insurance plan...wth?

I went into bed yesterday at 5 pm....what I shoulda done was get in my car and go anywhere but here...

Thanks for reading the vent....I'm just really kinda at the end of my rope.