Hi!  I am new to the group and just looking for some support from people going through or have been through similar situations that might understand what I am going through.  I dont really have anyone to talk to about my situation right now so any words of advice or help woudl be so appreciated.  My boyfirend/fiance and I have been together going on 10 years and have a 4 year old son together.  When I first met him I was going through a divorce and custody battle and was going out alot and drinking more then I ever have.  I was by no means an alcholic but compared to when I was married and my life now it was much more.  We would go out alot together to local bars and pubs or get together at friends and drinking was always involved.  I never drank during the day, all day or had a problem with the drinking interfering with work etc.  Since I became pregnant with my son I pretty much stopped drinking and now may have an occasional glass of wine but that is about it.  He has been going through stages where he is drinking non stop then will quit for a few days/weeks and go back to drinking but always has been drinking on a daily basis.  He got hooked on OxyContin a few years ago and was spending all his money on that and alcohol.  It was causing huge problems with us and i feel at that time we grew far apart.   I dont know if it was the pills the drinking or mixing the two that caused his severe moods swings and bouts of depression.  He lost his job about 8 months ago and since has not found work.  He feels like he is trying to find a job but i dont fell like he really is.  To me trying is daily going out and looking, constantly trying to improve a resume and just looking for something.  He now is collecting unemployment so he basically drinks from the time he gets up till he goes to bed.  He runs out of money usually in about 3 days and has the same severe mood swings.  He did quit the oxycotin but last week i found out he bought xanax and was almost unbearable.  He went to a veterans rehab over the summer for 45 days and stayed sober about a moth after.  Since he has done several other outpatient programs.  They give him Naltrexone which is supposed to make him not want to drink and prescribed him paxil and abilify for his severe depression.   He also smokes about a pack an a half a day so they gave him the patch.  Each time he gets done treatment he does not follow up with appointments, he never has taken the meds prescribed and with in a few days he is back to drinking.   He tells me that its normal for people to relapse 6 times or more.  Yesterday he said well guess ill have to check myself in again.  While i want him to go for treatment I also feel like he uses it as a cop out and way to get out of responsibility.   I already have almost all the responsibility on my shoulders.  I have 3 children to take care of, im the only one working, i have to make sure our bills get paid, take care of the house and all that goes with it and at the same time worry about him. I have alot of resentment for the things he has done and said while drinking and i feel ike he uses it as an excuse to get away with stuff and i dont feel he has really ever apologized.  My birthday was Tuesday and i got absolutely nothing.  I was not expecting anything big or lavish presents but a card or him cleaning, doing laundry or just taking care of a few chores would have made me happy.  His excuse was he was broke yet he got 450 unemployment check a few days ago and then went and borrowed 20 from his mom but used it to buy a pack of cigarettes, a few beers and gas so he could drive around drinking beer and listen to music.  Its the same im sorrys and excuses and promises to stop but at this poiint none of that means a thing because I know in my head he is saying what he needs to just to get out of hearing my complain or be mad.  I dont feel I deserve this yet feel stuck.  My son adores him so that is one reason i feel bad but then even when i tell him to leave he wont.  His family really doesnt want to hear it anymore and its almost like when i tell them they are kinda upset with me cause then they have to worry and be disappointed that he is drinking again.  Am i supposed to sit over here and just deal with this all alone?  Am i wrong for feeling like he is using rehab as a cop out to run from responsibility.  I didnt feel like that the first time he went but now that its been a few times I don't know what to think