Why would she let you know first? Is she mad at him? If she let you know than she 1 - wants you involved..
or 2 - is vicious and wants to rub it in his face.

I would ask her what her plans are for letting the father know and I would also talk about the circumstances...tell her I was confused and if I truly wanted involvement I would tell her and wait for her response.

I was PISSED when my sons girlfriend got pregnant and I kicked them out of my house...I didn't want anything to do with it...thinking my NON-involvement would straighten them out to help the baby....I told them NOT to get pregnant in my house ...because they were both using.

It was a Thanksgiving morning...she came upstairs and said...with a "smile" I'm pregnant...I just took a test...I said...yes, ok...than find somewhere to live because a baby won't be brought up in my cellar!

They have resented me since..and they are still using drugs...they fight...the poor, very cute boy (in my pics) witnesses all the chaos...They have blocked me out..unless they need money...I have no idea why I haven't written them off....because I never see my Grandson or my new Grandaughter because they resent me.

So whatever your stance is...you have to be really sure...either way you can be ok with your decision. I'm ok with mine..but I feel guilt as any human would that I haven't fought harder to see my grandchildren..its just that the addiction is destroying these kids..and I can't go over and pretend it is not...so I keep my distance...it sucks.

So...if your happy to be a grandmother..than embrace it and do everything to be in the grandchildrens life...regardless...but I can't....and when she told me she was pregnant I wanted to smack her....and unfortunetly..I can't be part of their lives now.

my son and I were very close before all this...and I have lost him too. My son went to jail and the witch kept his son away from him for the whole 6 months...I'm not playing games...and I can't go in and out of my grandsons life and f him up anymore than they have...so I'm out. Tread carefully and be sure.

Talk to your son about it, tell him and see what happens. Maybe after he gets his life together she will not mind letting him see the child. Did you ask her what she plans on doing when it comes to the relationship with your son and this new baby? It is better for the child to have a relationship with someone from his or her fathers side of the family so that the child will not feel you guys do not care when he or she grows up.

New life is a beautiful thing it may be the very thing to make your son get on a straight path and if not that should not stop you from being apart of your grand Childs life. Best of luck It may not be easy but hopefully when the baby gets here everyone will do what is best for him or her.

I have to say from a strictly legal point of view....if he thinks the kid is his and wants to be in its life, he can do a dna test....or maybe she will put him on the birth certificate.
and then she will go for support.

If she told you, even if your son is not in the kid's life, it sounds like you might be. How do you feel about that? She obviously is having it....And it is harder for grandparents to have legal rights...but

Is she close with her family? if something happened to her, would they take the child? Is your son planning on getting back together with her when he gets out?

I, personally, would choose to stay in touch...and see where it goes.

and ask her if she was going to tell him, or if she wants you to...obviously she wants him to know...or she wouldn't have told you. And then....how will your son feel? will it motivate him for good or bad?

I would ask Mom, what kind of role she sees for you...maybe it is nothing at all, just telling dad to be. maybe you are a grandma.

oh dear, I so want to congratulate you but I also want to say to you to protect yourself. I mean that on an emotional level.
I am a bit suspicious as to her motives of telling you first . I would be wary, especially as she is not with your son. Does she want back with him ? Does she want you to tell him ?
I supported my son and his girlfriend when she gave birth but it has been four years of nightmare. I love these children with all my heart but periodically she stops me seeing them and it hurts so much. I have shed so many tears over these children that I feel it will destroy me. Be careful, I do hope it works out for you.

Thank you for your comments and support. I don't know her motive. She is very angry at my son, with good reason. After all, he's in jail after lying and manipulating again. He knows he can't be a good father while using drugs and the thought of her having his baby without him would really hurt him. She may just want our involvement, that would be nice, but I don't know. Maybe she just wants to hurt him. God knows, his addiction has hurt all of us. I haven't told him yet. She let me know that it's a boy. Don't I owe her my full support? I'd love to know my grand baby, the same as I know and love my other grand babies.

Congrats. it is a boy....(not that it matters, but it matters that she told you).
I would keep communication open and be there for her and the baby. it is YOUR grandchild. the baby didn't do anything wrong and deserves as many people to love it as possible.
you may have to never talk about your son with the mom...if that is what it takes, so be it....
Be open to it....it sounds like she is checking out what you want.