Good job jms,,, say what you mean and mean what you say,,, if you set boundaries, need to stick to them,, otherwise they ate just empty threats, which them becomes a waste of every ones time,, we can't control anyones life, only ours,, which you know all that,,, proud of you,, not sure what kind of program your adddict is doing,, my addict is entering her third week if recovery and us doing amazing, I credit a lot to her living in a sober housing,, one,, apron strings are slowely getting shorter, she is reprogramming her way of thinking, and is surrounded by other recovering addicts 24/7,, addiction is a life long disease, that will never be cured only arrested, recovering is also life long journey, which at times can be challenging,, we can only support them, not do it for them


Girl you can vent any time,, hear you about the computer,, these darn teenagers of mine download all this music crap,, constantly cleaning out my computer

Have a great day,,, let me know how everything goes

Hugs
Kim

Good for you! I think you have done everything you can to get him to "smarten up"....and a whole lot more! Sending you tons of support....and love.

PS...get a new computer, I may fall apart without you!

The boundaries were for you not him. Either he gets sober and stays or he doesn't. Not sure what your boundaries were, but will say most addicts have to keep trying over and over they don't just stop and follow all the rules. Its like a diet, how many times do we start that diet on Monday only to cheat in a day or two or even by Monday evening.
Your boundaries sound like rules in which case it will never work with a spouse. Here's a helpful information on setting boundaries for you.
http://www.livestrong.com/article/223386-how-to-set-boundaries-with-a-drug-addicted-spouse/

sounds like you have reached the end of your rope. Good. Onwards and upwards.

thanks everyone..... well i got home from work and i am not even out of the car when he tells me his blood sugar values were way too high at his pre-op check today and they called him to return to the ER. i will admit that i was not mother theresa because like in everything he is the most willfully ignorant and non compliant patient ever. i sent him to the ER alone. i just can't any more. he left PISSED i didn't call to check on him then the calls start coming..... then around 10 pm they are going to admit him because of possible kidney involvement. can i please bring his nose spray and nicotene gum to the hospital!!!!!! i brought the nose spray only. but unfortunately for us both i just couldnt be sweet and perky and he is mad mad mad. so i discuss divorce at the bedside in the er. BAD NIGHT cant stop crying. i feel like the worst human on the planet.
i just dont want a f***ed up life any more. okay so hospital bedside a bad place for confrontation but i am on the verge and no one seems to notice.

If he took care of himself, and stop abusing his body, his diabetes and kidneys would not be falling apart...so who has he got to blame...him.
also, never bring meds to a hospital that are not prescription...nicotine patch? really? duhh...like that won't screw up his vitals?

you need a rest. you are at the verge. your batteries are so low, that you really need to put yourself first and recharge...

Crazy in contageous...Ok, so you weren't a nice person. Oh well, so today you try to be calmer and nicer...but maybe you just reached the point of snapping...

Now...the big thing is WHERE DO YOU GO FROM HERE? visiting crazy, I visualized it like walking a tight rope, and I was afraid I would just fall and fall and fall...
but getting put in a nut house to me sounded like a health spa...sleep, don't cook, don't clean and cry if I want to? what's the problem? That is when I knew I needed to change.

I went away for the weekend and slept and ate tv dinners and took hot baths without interruption. no phone...I felt alive again...and I thought things thru...(and this had nothing to do with addiction, my kids were still little then)...

Someone can only hurt you if you let them...so they say...but I have a tendency to shut down and close off, and then you can't feel the good stuff either....
He is getting support...you need it..Nothing changes if we don't...do what you need to do to get well. One day, you will look back and say "holy Crap, I was rough"...and be grateful to be in a far better place
Big hugs, pats on the back, kick in the butt and a tissue for tears.

Okay bedside isn't place to discuss divorce LOL, but you did let him get himself to ER and he manage that all on his own. I might of told him I bring the stuff tomorrow when I get a chance. The narcistic behavior was full on. Poor me, never mind he got to this point all on his own.
Do what's best for you and your sanity.

agreed!!!! getting out of bed, getting dressed and bringing nose spray to the hospital (out of guilt for being less than perfect earlier) was a mistake. i would have avoided the insane conversation in the ER.
but thankfully ALL my friends, my son, and DS friends agree that i am slipping down the precipice and my fingernails are breaking!!!!! i have a call in to my therapist maybe she can see me sooner than thursday. i have a four day weekend coming up, maybe i can get away. i have some big thinking to do. thanks everyone for the love and support. i feel l little less evil. and have stopped crying for the moment (school nurses scare their little patients when they are hysterical)

You're not evil. It's that old saying about how you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. You have and are trying everything to get through to him and part of that is trying both the "love & support" route and the "tough love" route where you present the harsh reality.