Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
Most of you know the problems I have with my daughter and the ones I have with my son and his wife as well but for those of you who don't I'll try and summarize it. My daughter was addicted to opiates for many years and has been on soboxone for the last 2 years, she is currently taking clonopin for anxiety and panic attacks and has had some slips and has taken more then prescribed. Her brother says she is an embarrassment and sometimes she is but she's still my daughter.
Now the problem, Easter is coming and the whole family is going out to a nice restaurant, my son asked me if I was coming but told me his sister was not invited, I told him I would not leave her home alone so if she wasn't invited I wasn't going. So now I'm the bad guy and I am putting her before everyone else. Now he is not speaking to me and neither is his wife, just to remind you all we live in the same house, my house! Am I doing the wrong thing? I don't think I am and I think my son should talk with his sister and just tell her what he expects her to behave like on that day, mind you his wife drinks way to much but he isn't taking that into consideration. As of right now my daughter doesn't know anything about this and I'm not going to mention it to her I'll just tell her we are going to my sister's for dinner.
I would love some opinion's or advice on this because I am so upset I'm not sure I'm doing the right thing.
Thanks,
Pat
Now the problem, Easter is coming and the whole family is going out to a nice restaurant, my son asked me if I was coming but told me his sister was not invited, I told him I would not leave her home alone so if she wasn't invited I wasn't going. So now I'm the bad guy and I am putting her before everyone else. Now he is not speaking to me and neither is his wife, just to remind you all we live in the same house, my house! Am I doing the wrong thing? I don't think I am and I think my son should talk with his sister and just tell her what he expects her to behave like on that day, mind you his wife drinks way to much but he isn't taking that into consideration. As of right now my daughter doesn't know anything about this and I'm not going to mention it to her I'll just tell her we are going to my sister's for dinner.
I would love some opinion's or advice on this because I am so upset I'm not sure I'm doing the right thing.
Thanks,
Pat
So by allowing others to control you, is an addiction,, remember drugs, manipulation ect,, are just the symptoms,,
We can't erase yesterday, we can't predict what tomorrow brings, wecsn only embrace in the gift of today, that is why it's called
The PRESENT
Peace momma!
In my opinion, it's not about being "right" or "wrong", it's about you making a decision not to leave your daughter alone on Easter, and your son should respect your decision whether he agrees with it or not.
He apparently has made the decision to go out to dinner and not include his sister. That was HIS choice, not yours. If he is angry with you for not going along with HIS plan, that's HIS problem, not yours. You did not create this issue about Easter dinner, HE did.
Sorry if that sounded fresh, I just don't think it's fair for your son to add more drama to your life. That's my two cents worth.
And I agree with everything Cardinal said, also!!
I would feel differently only if there were some reason why your son had a good reason not to be with your daughter, such as if she harmed him or his wife in some way. That would need to be a bad enough situation for him not to be living in the same house as her. Then she would need to stay home as a consequence for her behavior.
If the issue is that he is embarrassed by her, then I think that you and your daughter should go enjoy a nice Easter brunch together at a different restaurant and don't feel a minute of guilt. You did not make this choice and you don't want to reward your son's bad behavior.