Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
I think my son and his wife are on something. IDK for sure but I think its meth. My brother is on meth, crack, heroin, and God only knows what else. My brother got my son and his wife to do it with him. They said it was a one time thing but yesterday I heard something different. Everyone lies!!!! Idk who or what to believe anymore. My son called my daughter and said he needed help because ppl were after him, she called me I went over there to find out if something was wrong. I didnt pick up my daughter she has 2 kids and doesnt need to be involved in that kind of mess. When I got there nothing was going on. My son opened the door and was says their roommates bf was coming after them because my son made this guy leave. I said well call the cops. He said no they will find out. He was going from window to window looking out saying theres that car again. I said hey what are you on those are ppl taking their kids to school. He said nothing im just freaked out. I said what are u talking about. We seen a shadow and he said omg theres someone in my house so i said get out of the way and yelled whos here no one answered so i went down the hall to find their roommate coming from her room. I said can i talk to you for a min outside. We went out the door and I said what is going on she told me this long story but the jist of it is that her bf was drunk and started talking about how he likes to fight and my son threw him out. I said yall really need to grow up and get help all these kids walking to school alone because their parents work dont need to worry about ppl fighting or drive byes this has got to stop. I really believe there was nothing going on I think my son was on meth or at least what I was seeing made me think so. He didnt go into work then he called his boss and quit his job. IDK what is going on. I want to hate my brother for introducing that crap to my son but I cant. It was my sons choice to do it he could have told my brother to leave and never come back but he didnt. IDK how to feel right now!!!!!!! My mom called and said my brother isnt doing drugs anymore because he said he wasnt WTH yes he is no one that is doing every drug in the book can just stop like that. So now shes angry with me for telling her he is lying. This is all too much to deal with. I need a friend or someone to talk to I feel like im going crazy
I know I have son addicted and I HAVE had real people after him and threaten me.
The most horrible thing about all of this is that you and I can't control the drugs that they do and we can't make them stop and we can't stop worrying...and this can go on for years.
It has gone on for years with me at least 15 with my son. He has very short periods of recovery..and then right back to it. I'm also an alcoholic so I understand how powerful addiction is and no one can stop me...I can only stop when I AM ready. I am currently sober.
But only a week.
The other really sad thing for us is we are in our 40-50's and we don't have much time left..lets face it..and they are pushing us quicker to our ends. And the little bastards (I say this with love)...will probably eventually get better (hopefully) and start living normal healthy, happy, productive lives and we will be 6ft under from all of the stress.
This is the time for us that we are supposed to be "free" from responsibility of our kids and its 10x worse than when they were little.
I'm really angry too..but I'm angry at addiction and not my son. I try to detach for periods of time and find as much joy as I can and honestly that is the only advice I have for you.
These are the reasons they have pages like this for people like us..because it never ends and we are not equipped to deal with watching our kids destroy themselves and their lives...IT SUX.
Everytime I find a minute of joy...I end up with a stupid phone call that my son needs money...or my son is using again...or my son got in a car accident.....Its very exhausting. I just want you to know your not alone.
And that you can't stop it...so don't use any energy trying to stop it...use some energy to make yourself as happy as you possibly can in the horrid situation.
You were so smart to not get your daughter involved. Now? you have to not go over with those phone calls.
If you get the opportunity to discuss stuff with them when they are sober, give it a shot. one shot. lay out the boundaries in very few words...and then, let it go.
You need to spend your time and energy on the healthy relationships. And you were right to inform your mom that she is being lied to. She is angry, and focused it on you because she is too afraid to be angry at the addict.
and you can yell at your brother till you turn blue, but he isn't going to change. no one made your son and his wife try anything...they are all responsible for their own choices.
keep you other daughter out of all of it. you all being healthy can be the light at the end of the tunnel.
also...financial..no money, no bailing out for rent...and watch your stuff, they will come over and pawn your items of value.
addicts are sick sick sick in mind, body and spirit and they will do anything!
Welcome to the actual living with the insanity of addiction. We can't change them, only ourselves.
Missy2 Im proud of you for being sober a day a wk it doesnt matter you are doing it. Keep it up
I'm glad you found this group - I hope it helps. I'm new to it as well. Have you also considered going to a local support group for family members like Celebrate Recovery or Nar-Anon?