Every two weeks when my son gets paid he is supposed to send me a certain amount of money so I can pay his insurance and car loan. The last pay date he did not transfer money and now on Friday I asked, don't forget your car loan is due on Monday. Of course it is like instant recall, that pit in my stomach comes back, worry and the first thought is he relapsed. I asked on Saturday, he said he would send it and then finally again last night. I asked if he had money problems and he said he was doing his financial amends and came up to attend his friend one year sober date. ( he did two things he probably couldn't afford one a tattoo and the second taking a flight to go to PA for the anniversary) All this time I spoke to him on the phone, he texted and spoke to me on Mother's Day. I don't think he relapsed but I do think he has poor money management ( don't know for sure) so I texted him today and said i don't know what is going on wi your money, that me and my husband have been trying to help him out however thats not working,I said I was going to have his car and insurance sent to his billing address so that he could take care of it directly, that it will be up to him if he does or doesn't pay it. I told him that I loved him very much and I would help him to create a budget but I will not make the same mistakes again. ( being a financial safety net which was enabling him to use) he responded by saying that its not my responsibility to pay his bills or fix his wrongs of the past. I responded, I concur.
It is horrible how their ways of the past can stir up negative and worrisome feelings in a second, and the threat of relapse always looms in the dark, but I also know I will love him with all my heart but I will never again enable him. So I pray that he has poor money management. Thank you of reading and if you have any other thoughts they are welcomed.