I'm so sorry and I'm so sad for the pain you feel, I wish I could tell you were to find hope, because I felt hopeless at many points. Somehow it just comes. Sometimes from our friends here, sometimes in Something you read, someone you meet, sometimes after praying so hard your eyes hurt. I will pray for you and your son, and your right he is at least safe and will be forced to stay clean, hopefully between the 2 something will guide him. God bless, and hugs

I am sorry you're going through this, but it's good to see that you feel relief too. I can relate to the loss of hope. I think I'm losing my hope as well. Not a good feeling.

Are you thinking of contacting him?

I am planning on contacting him because the weirdest thing happened last week and I want to talk to him about it. A total stranger sent my daughter a FB message claiming to be my addicts boyfriend. He told us that he had been having a relationship with my son for the last 3 months and that my son had finally admitted to someone that he was gay. I did not believe him but after speaking with the guy for over an hour and a half I think he may be telling us the truth and it may be a missing piece of the puzzle that has been my sons life....
I just need to tell my son that I love him no matter what... I know this won't change the addiction but it may change something but either way I want to contact my son in jail and tell him that I love him. I pray that he uses this time to think about his life and maybe he will decide he is finally ready to get clean and sober....

I hope this will be a turning point for you family. It's wonderful that you want to see him and tell him you love him. I'm filled with emotions right now, I hope all goes well!!!

Well God did answer your prayers,, he out him behind bars,,, at least to save himself, from himself,,, where there is life there is hope,,, when my addict was in jail, she did get 1step recovery,,, you can only continue to pray,,, until the pain of addiction is worse then the pleasure of the drug, there us no reason to stop,,

I do know what your feeling,,,, my daughter just was released on a personnel bond after 6 months if jail ,, she is back home living with us,, trust me,,, I was much more peacfull when she was there,,, if she chioses to use,, then she knows the bottom line,, she will have to leave the comfort of home,, it's been a real adjustment period ,, that don't give the coping skills when the re enter society


Here for you

Hugs
Kim

I too remember being thankful for the lack of worry when my son was in jail. I used it as a time to write to him, more than phone (although we did that too...there is no privacy, so writing was better)
My son went right back to drinking when he got out, thinking at the time he could moderate it...But the 6 months he was in was ok. hard at the holidays..but ok.
Now? sober, the first year I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. 3 years out, I know there are no guarantees, but for now, all is well.
rest. contact him. let him know the secrets are out and you still love him, and lets all pray that it is enough to make him want to get healthy in mind and body and spirit.

Oh Marg, I am sorry to hear that he is in jail, and yet, I also know the feeling of knowing that he is safe and not using. (we have experienced that with our son also). My prayers will be with you and your son.

thanks for the support, it is so needed. My son has missed many holidays and birthdays so being in Jail is no different and I do plan on writing to him. He has never been good at communicating but writing is a bit easier for him. I think this time he is going to get a pretty long sentence and I think he needs it. Its the only chance he has of survival right now.... Thanks for being here for me and good luck to all of you.....
Marg

I'm so sorry for your hopelessnes. I'm experiencing it now with my husband. But God in his grace and mercy has sent people to me that have hoped for me and put a little spark of hope back in me this week. I prayed for you just now, that God will give you peace and renew your hope. I'm thankful for you that your son is in a safe place right now. Don't ever quit praying or hoping. God still does miracles today! I'm believing for one for my husband and our marriage

My son was in jail yesterday, too, & I also worry about him living to see his 25th birthday at the end of this year. He caused a head on collision on Sunday and somehow was only charged with possession. He was driving without a license & was responsible for the wreck. No one was hurt; thank God - but I still don't understand how he got away without a DUI and a driving on a revoked license. He's out of jail today - "recogged", I think they call it. I saw the skid marks. It happened right in front of a cemetary - where my grandma, uncle, and other loved ones are buried. I, too, wonder about the root of my son's drug use. My ex is in prison for molesting our neighbor's daughter, so I wonder if things happened years ago that my kids have never told me - or if just the knowledge of what his dad did to the girl in his class was enough to push him in that direction. It's all coupled with the genetic factors, and the environmental. I look back at my marriage and how I allowed my kids to be brought up in a home where they watched their dad, a HIGH functioning alcoholic, numb whatever it was he was numbing with alcohol, day after day after day. Hind Sight.....................I think it's a great idea to contact him about what you've learned & get it out in the open. If he really is gay, it's most likely something he has really struggled with. Maybe getting it out will relieve enough of a burden to help him focus on trying to get sober? You can only try, and see what happens. Telling them we love them no matter what can certainly never hurt!!!

My 29 year old son is too in Jail serving his sentence...In the past I was there to visit continuously...putting money in his cantene...putting money in so that he could call me...Handling his legal affairs on the outside....But a long story short...He kept getting out after promising me that it would never happen again and guess what it happened again....Now, I occasionally check in on him....Money on his account is extremely sparse...My son is still a wonderful manipulater....He has a long way to go....Right now I am curious as to what the future will bring.
Whether we will ever be close again...Only time will tell..
I refused to allow him to wrap me around the axil anymore...I have another son that suffers from seizures ....His seizures have decreased so much since his brother went to jail...Our life was such a chaotic roller
coaster of events when his older brother lived at home....Emotionally, I am healing every day...took a 3 hour hike with our little doggy...worked out...posted some resumes'...Inside I feel calm.....for the first time in a long long long time....I almost forgot what it felt like...
My prayers and thoughts are with you Marge,
Your right your son is not in a comfortable place by no means but he is where he needs to be right now !! Not only for him but for you and your family...You see we are the victims also....and we need protection sometimes....even from our loved ones.

Bec- good answer...keep working on healing ourselves. that is the only answer.

Well, it just took some time to get the charges posted. My son has 6 charges and will most likely have a DUI once the lab work comes back from the blood they took from him after his arrest. But - they recogged him and he's back out on the street. I was told he's being kicked out of the place he's been living, so I don't know where he will be laying his head to sleep. I know there are shelters like Salvation Army..........or maybe he will get someone else to take him in. I know him. He will make promises that he's done with it, etc. And I think the thinking part of his brain wants to be done with it, but the using part of his brain will most likely continue to win out. It's a very sad predicament to be in; tragic really.

this is not my sons first stint in jail but they better keep him in there for awhile because what he was doing before he was arrested was horrifying! He is so lucky to even be alive at this point! He has had a ton of DUI's and he still drove any chance he got! I don't expect any treatment for him in jail but I feel like its a little safer then out there on the mean streets. In time I will write to him (once his head clears) and I always told him I would NOT be visiting him in jail. He was locked up for 8 months before and I only went once to pick him up and that was so scary! Moms should not have to see their kids locked up!! I will write to him and pray for him but my expectations are very low for him....

Marg I am so so sorry you are going through so much with your son all I can do is say that you are in my thoughts and prayers as well as grandma willi I'm sorry for you too but I will keep praying for you both Hugs Dee