My youngest son, who is now 21, has always been high strung and anxious as far back as I can remember, yes, even as a toddler. At about 7 or 8 years old he started staying at his friends houses for hours on end and wouldn't come home til really late most days. At school, he's act up and the staff would call me to go pick him up or he'd get suspended for 3 days and be gone from the house like he was attending school and going to his friends houses. It got so bad when he was in the 5th grade that the school talked me into getting him tested for ADHD and ODD and sure enough he has it and they told me I needed to send him to a behavioral hospital, which I did cause I didn't know what else to do for him. Then he got out from that and started behaving the same or similar as he did before he went to the behavioral hospital. Come to find out he'd been using marijuana most of the time and I'm now thinking at times some of it might've been laced with something else too. He would get violent and lash out at me for nearly no reason at all. 

Then by the time he was 15, he haad been living like he was homeless and came over to my residence with his little sister in the house sleeping and brandished a machete around and in the bathroom. That's when my fiance/bf had had enough of his behavior and called the police on him when he walked outside. They were waiting outside for him and arrested him in front of our driveway and took him to juvenile hall for 3 days then they sent him back to the behavioral hospital again. The staff their tried to tell me I should get him into a long term program and I wanted to, but I didn't want to send him away to another city where he would be so isolated. That was one of the biggest mistakes I made I think where he was/is concerned because when he was in the local behavioral hospital they told me he had admitted to using meth frequently and he needed long term help. 

The issue I struggle with everyday where he is concerned is that even as a young boy, he was extremely defiant and I was afraid of him and his behaviors getting out of control to where I couldn't restrain him or get him to see what he was doing. I was afraid he'd hurt not only me, but his grandparents too which we were living with at the time he went to the hospital the first time. Since he went the second time, I knew he was dangerous and could overpower me in a heartbeat. Plus, you really can't control anyone else's actions anyways, only yours, so don't really even think you can to begin with and you'll be ok. 

Anyhow, now that he's 21, he's living in his vehicle doing meth and smoking marijuana cause he doesn't want better for himself even though he knows so many trades that pay pretty good money. He usully fixes his own vehicle and he knows all about landscaping and so many other things from living on the streets and hanging out with all kinds of people, good and bad. 

Yet, I dread whenever the phone rings or I hear of a shooting or some other serious crime anywhere in town that I know he hangs out around. He's been to adult jail a couple times too and even was put on a 5150 twice in two and a half months in 2015. I constantly worry about him esp. at night. My own anxiety and insomnia really gets to me over him a lot. I don't know how else to deal or coope with his addiction other than what I try to do when he's around.