Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
I have posted before on my sisters' death in which she died tragically in an explosion on 12-19-13. She lived in a tent under a freeway and loved living her life that way because she could get all the drugs she wanted. It obviously leaves me with the interpretation that all homeless people are drug users. Not fair, but it's how I feel.
My sister abandoned her girls in her quest for drugs. Now it's her girls' that have turned to drugs as well. I've been used by both of them. And I finally put my hand up and said enough is enough. They no longer contact me because they know that I've been used as much as I allowed them to use me. The oldest is going back to prison for yet another violation of her parole. She's had two boys, one she gave up for adoption & the other is being raised by the father. How can you abandon your own kids? I'm so angry at them. I want to be there for them - I want to see them succeed, yet they continue to follow this road to destruction. When the older one found out what happened to her mom (my sis) she commented that that's how she saw her life ending too. It's just all so selfish.
The younger one believes her mom's demise was simply an accident. While in a sense, she didn't plan do it, but because of the drugs, it altered her frame and mind & she failed to see the potential danger before her. It was a propane stove that she lit and it exploded. The younger one calls me all kinds of names, refused to see her future being anything like hers. She turned my sister (her mom) away when she came asking for food - see the abandonment here?
Not sure what I'm asking for here - venting, & knowing it's out of my hands. If they called me right now, I'd still support them - but now it has to be just in spirit.
My sister abandoned her girls in her quest for drugs. Now it's her girls' that have turned to drugs as well. I've been used by both of them. And I finally put my hand up and said enough is enough. They no longer contact me because they know that I've been used as much as I allowed them to use me. The oldest is going back to prison for yet another violation of her parole. She's had two boys, one she gave up for adoption & the other is being raised by the father. How can you abandon your own kids? I'm so angry at them. I want to be there for them - I want to see them succeed, yet they continue to follow this road to destruction. When the older one found out what happened to her mom (my sis) she commented that that's how she saw her life ending too. It's just all so selfish.
The younger one believes her mom's demise was simply an accident. While in a sense, she didn't plan do it, but because of the drugs, it altered her frame and mind & she failed to see the potential danger before her. It was a propane stove that she lit and it exploded. The younger one calls me all kinds of names, refused to see her future being anything like hers. She turned my sister (her mom) away when she came asking for food - see the abandonment here?
Not sure what I'm asking for here - venting, & knowing it's out of my hands. If they called me right now, I'd still support them - but now it has to be just in spirit.
what a waste of beautiful lives. I feel like the son who got adopted out has the best chance of them all.
I get so angry, and depressed thinking of all the lives ruined. My son is sober now 6 years, thank God, but in his soberliving house of 25 men, 8 are dead and the rest are using...he is the only one sober. Some of them were older, but a few were young like him. His roommate left behind an ex girlfriend and baby.
Your story is one that illustrates again, the insanity of addiction. Why it is more than a choice, and how sick in mind, body and spirit these addicts become.
No answers. Just a hug and a wish for you to have some peace.
and forgive is not forget.
People can only do the best they know how at the time....hopefully we are all learning and growing.
say a prayer for them, wish them well and let them leave your heart and mind. They are taking up too much space where happiness should reside. IF loving them were enough, none of us would be here.
If one of your nieces came to you saying they want to get sober would you want to be a guiding force or have you had enough? I think it's important to know this and be prepared in case it happens. Until then heal your hurt with support from either alanon/naranon and or counseling. You've been through a lot and deserve to heal.
Would I want to be a driving force should they want to become sober? I did with my sister. The oldest has been "forced" into becoming sober by continually violating her parole & sent back to prison for doing so. She actually had the audacity to say "I guess I violated my parole for having ONE drink. I had no idea that it was a violation." Really? I told her that although I'm not familiar with prison & parole violations, that surely they either told her exactly what would violate her parole & strongly suspect that they actually gave her written information. She stopped responding back to me. I believe as long as she has repercussions with the law, she'll have no choice but to stay sober. But once she's out, it all goes out the window. I've learned that as much as I want her to be sober, she wants to want it more. I'd support her, but be a driving force? Actively assisting? I've been let down too many times - so I'd have to say no.
blueviolet _ congratulations to your son & his sobriety! He had so much going on in that soberliving home that would drive normal people to succumb & return to their habits. His accomplishment is tremendous!