While I have been on DS for other topics - this one is a new one for me. My sister Wendy chose to live a life under a freeway in a tent happy as long as she could get her hands on drugs. No job, no responsibilities. That tragically ended on December 19, 2013 when she entered her tent and a propane tank exploded. She was burned beyond recognition and DNA was required in order to identify her. It took almost 6 excruciating months to confirm it was her through family (including myself) DNA. She was less than a mile from me. She left behind 2 daughters from 2 different fathers that also struggle with addiction.

Wendy knew she had family to rely on and to have a place to stay. But that just wasn't her cup of tea. She didn't want structure nor did she want the responsibilities of every day life. I find myself struggling with how to "help" my nieces. I see the same patterns that I saw in my sister. Wendy was 56 when she dies. Her daughters are now adults. I've "helped" in ways of food & clothing, however, I fear it is just being used to sell for drugs. I don't give them cash under any circumstances. One of me neices just got out of prison and rehab - she appears to be doing well - she lives in another state and has not asked for any assistance. The younger one (19) I've helped out on numerous occasions. A good friend here on DS helped me through that, and I am eternally grateful for that.

Anyone else dealing with this? Because my sister chose drugs over family, there's hardly any relationship with my nieces. But I don't think that's a reason to stay away from them.