My heart goes out to you. You need to stop bailing her out of the trouble she gets herself into. With you helping her it is ENABLING her to do what she pleases. This is not the actions of someone who is clean, she is using again. If you can get a judge to put her in a rehab try it if not , you need to let her hit bottom. I cant imagine the pain knowing its ur child but addicts are all the same and they will keep going as long as there is somebody on the other end always ready and willing to help(enable) them again. Good luck and prayers for you.

Exactly - do not bail her out. If she is going to use, she is. If she wants to get clean, she will. You can only control YOU - not her. Set some boundries and practice tough love. Stay strong and good luck.

I agree do not bail her out she has to suffer the consequences of her behavior. Setting boundaries is good and practice tough love.
I found when my AH was saying i'm not using yet stealing acting bizarre he was using. Addicts can be very good liars and have you believing up is down.
My daughter had her dad (my ex) committed last year, he was released after 10 days and is right back to where he was when he was committed. I'm sure it all depends on your state.

I just wish you the strength to deal with this. I hate when you think everything is all over and dealt with... it's not. These others are right with the "enabling" advice. Maybe you could get all her loved ones together and have an intervention? If she is not herself than she is using, sadly. Wishing the best for you!!!

To put it blankly, cut the cord. Any help at all is enabling. You could probably get an involuntary commitment but she will go through the rehab and come out and back up to her old tricks. She has to want it. Sorry to sound rude I don't mean to.... But why would you put out money for jean she stole and then act surprised that she got off scott free. Don't set it up for her to get away with it and she won't.

Part of raising children is to teach them that they need to abide by the rules,.... Or there is consequences. Sheltering them keeps them unreliable for their actions!!!!

Sorry it just makes me feel angered that you seem surprised that she doesn't ever suffer any consquences.

Dont second guess yourself, trust your gut! you know she is using. Try not to fix everything for her cos only she can fix herself, im sorry for what you are going through and im here if you need a friend. When my husband used i came here and presented all my eveidence and asked everyone "do you think he is using, he says he isnt", I know damn well he was but im not trusting my own judgement by then, Well when he got clean the first thing he said is im sorry I hurt you, I sorry I lied and I lied to you 100 times everyday but the only thing I cared about, loved or wanted was drugs and I would have said done and used any means to get them. Now thank god he is clean so far and god willing stays like that, but im no fool we all know here how this story goes and the ending is anybodys guess. The only person I can change is me, I cannot change others, only my reaction to their actions.
Love and hugs xxxxx

Oh Hannasma, I am with you on this. My daughter, 23, is also dealing with heroin addiction. For the past 4 years with heroin and before that, cocaine. We had her inpatient twice before she was 18. This is heartwrenching. My daughter even went so far as to marry he dealer. What a mess.

Here's my advice and I hope you can understand. I let my daughter fall on her face. I do not bail her out or pay anything for her. God, if I could fix this for her I would, but I know I can't. Standing back and watching her self destruct was the hardest thing for me to do. I am sure you understand. On the other hand, I stick around. I just show up. I keep calling and maintaining contact -- because she knows me and knows that I love her and will not ever settle for this in her life. She knows, when she sees me, that I gave her the tools with the treatment and the counseling, that she has the capability to deal with this and that I expect her to. It's this ball in front of her and SHE has to pick it up. Unspoken words here -- pick up those tools and get your life back!!!! In short, I love her and support her and have never turned my back on her, but I do not accept that this is her life forever.

She finally called on Christmas Eve (this last one) and we got into a huge argument - well it was mostly me yelling. She had been back in treatment but kept relapsing and relapsing and relapsing for me to find out that her lovely hubby was taking the methodone and cooking it up. He also sold her stuff, and her T.V for pills, and I royally jacked her up for a half an hour -- easy - of me yelling into the phone -- for her to PICK UP THE DAMNED BALL AND GET YOUR LIFE BACK. I told her to call me whenever she was done living like this and I would come and get her and support her emotionally in her sobriety - but when I had to sit in a room and have some counselor tell me that she will DIE soon -- SOON -- I was not going to quietly talk to her anymore -- I was going to start screaming at the top of my lungs! Enough already.

She hung up on me.

She called back in 5 minutes and asked me to come and get her. She has been living here for a month, has detoxed cold turkey (not wonderful to watch), is staying clean, working and trying to get her life on track with family support. We are all too damned broke to put her inpatient. I hate that. She is also divorcing her Hubby, who still calls her and wants her back so she can pay for his drugs. Nice scene, huh?

Sure, your daughter has to want this for herself, BUT I would throw her ass inpatient and here is why -- she will not see reason and logic until she is clean. She will not be able to see her life as an addict until she is not using for some time and detoxed -- then she can really look at her situation without the drugs clouding her once beautiful mind.

My daughter knew I was getting ready to involuntarily commit her. Yes, I had that on the table. Forms printed out when she got here. She knew I would do this and this was my reason -- because if she is that far into that hole, and she can't get out anymore by herself, I love her enough to reach down and find her -- and if I can't reach her? I'll jump in the hole myself to yank her out. If she is not strong enough, then I'll be strong for both of us. Because she would do it for me if the situation was reversed. She was not surprised that I was considering this and she knows that I fight for her when she can't fight for herself.

That's my story. I hope you keep us posted as to what you decide. This is the hardest thing in the world to watch and I hope you know that you have my support.

(keep wathcing what she does -- don't listen to her words but watch her actions. They give it all away every time. And good for you for being willing to love her enough to SEE IT!)