Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
Hello,
My brother is only 20 years old and has been doing drugs since the age of 8. He started off with marijuana and graduated to meth and heroin. He was recently diagnosed with H.I.V. and I am so terrified for him. Our mother had never been a mother, she is more like a friend. My grandmother had a heart attack on my 16 yr old son so im now taking care of my grandfather, son, and my brother. It has affected my health and well being. Being that I live in my grandparents home I have no say on whether or not my brother can be around so im now being stretched too thin. I am so terrified for my brother and Im trying to help my son and my grandfather get passed my grand,mothers death, my brothers addiction and his new diagnosis. I have nobody to talk to and i feel like my life is no longer mine. What do I do?
My brother is only 20 years old and has been doing drugs since the age of 8. He started off with marijuana and graduated to meth and heroin. He was recently diagnosed with H.I.V. and I am so terrified for him. Our mother had never been a mother, she is more like a friend. My grandmother had a heart attack on my 16 yr old son so im now taking care of my grandfather, son, and my brother. It has affected my health and well being. Being that I live in my grandparents home I have no say on whether or not my brother can be around so im now being stretched too thin. I am so terrified for my brother and Im trying to help my son and my grandfather get passed my grand,mothers death, my brothers addiction and his new diagnosis. I have nobody to talk to and i feel like my life is no longer mine. What do I do?
Sounds like you are fairly young, too young to give up your life. I wish you the best. ((hug))
even getting out for a walk every day, or taking 5 minutes alone to breathe deeply...this has all got to be taxing on your health too!
I will tell you something that sounds very cruel, but is just a different way to look at things...
when my son was at his worst...sometimes I just had to think "well, it isn't happening to me"...because someone told me that it isn't what happens around us, but how we handle it that makes the difference.I guess what I am trying to show is that we can love people, caretake, and not let it control our every thought. He is 20. If he got the diagnosis, they also gave him info on what to do to get help. HE has to do something, it is his disease.
I hope we can be of some support to you. You need to look after you....if you can't do that for yourself? do it because others seem to rely on you so much.
there is a saying about when you are on a plane, you put on your oxygen mask first, before helping others....think about that. Hugs.
You can be afraid, sad and scared for your brother but you aren't the one who is sick, he is. Blueviolet is right, they gave him information on how to get help and next steps. You can't control what he does or doesn't do with that information.
Start taking some time for yourself and be well.
I thought of a couple things thou...
With medicine now adays for HIV...your brother can be healthy for years and years..your young but there is a basketball player named Magic Johnson who as diagnosed in like 1989...and he is still alive..so it is NOT a death sentence anymore (relief yourself of that panic for now).
Your son could use counseling if his Great Grandmother had a heart attack in front of him...we are not qualified to handle that kind of pain.
I don't know if you need counseling as much as you need time to yourself. I know it must be SO HARD...but you have to find one thing to do that you enjoy and take that hour...if it is only one time a week and make sure YOU DO IT....A walk....etc.
And once you set that boundary for yourself...I think it will help you to start to process the grief of losing your Dad and Grandma...and the diagnosis of HIV with your brother....and MAKE YOU stronger.
Then somewhere down the line...things will calm down. You have been thru a lot...your feelings are completely normal...your a strong girl. You just need a break..and it seems right now you can't catch one...SO MAKE one - promise yourself an HOUR once a week to do SOMETHING for you. :(