Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
I am very new to this site and don't really where to start.....
My boyfriend is an amazing person with a great heart and great potential, however he is also a binge drinker. I have seen him in bad positions because of the alcohol. When he is drinking he is not the same person I love and he knows this when he is sober. He knows he has a problem he has gone thru a lot of life altering situations with numerous deaths in his family and is using drinking as a way to deal with the pain. He knows this is wrong and he wants to get help he takes 5 steps forward in the right direction and then takes 10 steps back because he says its ok since he is going to get help on Monday.
I support him I care for him I love him and want nothing but this best for him, but when he is drinking he just tells me how much I don't understand what he is going thru, I try to explain to him that I don't know what he is going thru because I have not gone thru the same life problems he has but I kinda have an understanding because I have been the one by his side thru it all, I am just so lost right now and don't know how to help myself in the matter. I try to help him so much that I push myself to the side and when he is drinking so does he, My feelings or issues are never as important as his issues (in his eyes). As I am writing this my head just keeps spinning because there is just so much in my head that I truly don't know where to start or how to explain what is going on, I need someone to talk to who is in a similar situation or was in a similar situation, Al-anon is something I have been considering but right now I really need someone to talk to who can understand me and my current situation.Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Thank You.
My boyfriend is an amazing person with a great heart and great potential, however he is also a binge drinker. I have seen him in bad positions because of the alcohol. When he is drinking he is not the same person I love and he knows this when he is sober. He knows he has a problem he has gone thru a lot of life altering situations with numerous deaths in his family and is using drinking as a way to deal with the pain. He knows this is wrong and he wants to get help he takes 5 steps forward in the right direction and then takes 10 steps back because he says its ok since he is going to get help on Monday.
I support him I care for him I love him and want nothing but this best for him, but when he is drinking he just tells me how much I don't understand what he is going thru, I try to explain to him that I don't know what he is going thru because I have not gone thru the same life problems he has but I kinda have an understanding because I have been the one by his side thru it all, I am just so lost right now and don't know how to help myself in the matter. I try to help him so much that I push myself to the side and when he is drinking so does he, My feelings or issues are never as important as his issues (in his eyes). As I am writing this my head just keeps spinning because there is just so much in my head that I truly don't know where to start or how to explain what is going on, I need someone to talk to who is in a similar situation or was in a similar situation, Al-anon is something I have been considering but right now I really need someone to talk to who can understand me and my current situation.Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Thank You.
He's got to take control of HIS disease and traumas and get help, that's his responsibility. The thing we tend to do for addicts we love is enable their disease because we become co-dependent of the addict as they become co-dependent of their substance of choice.
The best thing is to take a step back and draw boundaries and not enable poor behavior/choices. Let him know you love him and will support him just as long as he chooses a path of sobriety and good choices. You cannot allow yourself to drown with him, I'm sure you have people who care about you and want to see you healthy. Try not to get caught up in the cycle because you will drown with him if you do. You didn't cause this and have nothing to feel guilty about. Seek Al-anon meetings, you will learn the importance of drawing boundaries and receive the support and understanding you need.
Hope this was helpful and will pray for you and your bf's recovery.
Try not to allow the behavior of the disease (manipulation, aggression, anger, etc) affect you by learning to see it for what it is which has nothing to do with his disposition when he's sober.
Big Hugs.