Growing up with an addict father, everyone always made excuses for him. "He loves you so much but he doesnt know how to love himself." Or "he works really hard and has done some nice things for you." Or "no one is perfect." Or better yet "he isn't an addict. He needs the pills and he only drinks on the weekend." Everyone around me made it acceptable for him to abuse me. I began to wonder if I could do something differently. Eventually it carried over to my friendships and relationships.  I always wondered what if.  Could I have done something more to keep a friendship of kept a man around? I would beat myself up for breaking off a toxic relationship because I believed they were good people like my dad right? They did terrible things to me so why did I feel guilty for walking away? I spent years trying to figure it out until I realized it wasn't me. It was the people who made excuses for my dad. The people who said that it was ok for him to beat me because it was just the pills.  So I continued the cycle in my relationships. No more excuses. I dont feel guilty anymore for cutting those people out of my life.  Or do I? I just want the cycle to end. I want to cycle to end for all people affected by addiction. We deserve so much more, yet we make excuses.