Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
Hi, this is my first time posting here, but im a member of the fibro DS group. A close family member is in her late 20's and a heroin addict. Until recently, she's had 8 yrs clean, although on suboxone the whole time. A month ago, she ended up in the hospital, had relapsed after all this time and admitted to shooting up, which she never even did the first time. She got clean only a few days then slipped again n it's been a cycle of that for weeks. She says she can't stop on her own, but won't go to rehab. I know they say the person has to hit rock bottom, but with shooting heroin, the bottom is death. It's so dangerously out of control n I fear she's running out of time. She lives w parents but they're separated and on diff sides - her mom wants her to go to rehab but her dad is a major enabler, so this doesn't help! The worry, frustration n stress is overwhelming and starting to affect my own health. She has the opportunity to get help but has yet to do so. Im conflicted bc I want to say, if u don't take this chance to get help, I refuse to stick around and watch u kill yourself. Has anyone done this, is it a mistake to say? Any advice would be very much appreciated.
I'm sorry to hear about your loved one. When they are actively using they don't give a thought to how we feel. My son has been saying why do you take this so personal. Ugh.
Being around thousands of addicts in my 21 years of the crap called heroin I've seen it all. So I am only sharing MY opinion. Others may not agree.
To me and all the counselors I've worked with Suboxone is an excellent source of med to detox off opiates. Notice I said detox? Once an opiate addict is detoxed from heroin they should be weaning off Suboxone. Otherwise they are not drug free. They can get just as high from suboxone as they can heroin.
Also unless someone is watching her take it you don't know if she is selling them in exchange for drugs. My boys had me paying the doctor to get them $150 a month and sold them for $300. Nice profit at my expense. Until I caught on.
The other thing is there is a difference between being clean and being in recovery. See in my opinion her using Suboxone the whole time tells me she wasn't in recovery. When an addict is truly commited to their recovery they hesitate in even putting an aspirin in their bodies. Her relying on Suboxone is a crutch to not have to change her mindset to a recovery addict versus l'll just take a sub not that's ok.
No one can tell you to walk away from someone using. Honestly that's a decision you need to make. I've done some very hard things to get my boys (2 heroin addicts) to get into recovery. I've had them arrested turned them into their PO's...shelters protective orders...you name it.
The only reason I never turned my back on them is they are my kids and I keep trying to talk to them to give them hope. If it were a family member I cared deeply about I would tell them how I feel and then detach. Easier said then done I know. You shouldn't feel guilty. You didn't put the needle in her arm. It's a choice she made knowing where it will bring her. My one son who doesn't use stays away. It's how he handles it. He waits for them to be on a clean path and then let's them reach out to him. There isn't an easy answer to any of this.
You may want to attend a naranon meeting for others struggling since we all have that common bond. And keep reading here. It does help just even if it's a prayer or hug sent your way.
((((Hugs))))
I told her today that I'm no longer helping drive her to the Dr (that's not helping anyway) since I found out she's been cheating the urine tests and lying. I made it clear that I refuse to enable her or be manipulated by the lies and false promises. She was again trying to tell me that this time would be different, but quickly realized I wasn't buying it and said she understood. It's not easy, but I feel in my heart it's the right thing for now. Thanks again for the helpful and kind words, it means so much.
When they start using fake urine and any means necessary to pass a test that's screams "using" and leave me alone. That's where we struggle and are In pain not knowing how to handle it.
I wish I knew the answer. No magic to this addiction. Growing up in the 70's I knew the one thing I feared was heroin. And now it's wreaking havoc on my family
2. not everyone who shoots up dies right away...A neighbor of mine just passed away at 55 or 56 years old and had been an addict since she was 20. a suckie life, but it lasted.
3. in resources or recommendations listed here, there is a book about the adult addict and her folks should read it. Or go to narcalon meetings. they need to get educated. We can't save the addict, they have to decide. But being on the same page and not enabling and setting boundaries are the best things we can do for them and ourselves. Glad you found us, sorry you had to.