Most of us either have a contract, or list of boundaries and expectations...like no using or ____. how many meetings he will be attending, what about paychecks etc.
and at the counceling you will learn to not enable, but to let him make his own mistakes and messes and not to take care of him so much....that you will have to trust that when he is walking out the door to a meeting that that is where he is really going.
My son went to a halfwayhouse and then a sober living house...they had regular schedules that helped him...things he had to be accountable for.
Whatever they suggest, if he agrees, you and he will work to make those things a part of your life. My best friend from college chants her buddhist chants when he is at his meetings. both benefit.
Just remember that his energy has to go towards sobriety first and foremost. Don't be jealous of that time, and make sure to not undermine his efforts...(like my husband when I diet)....we don't even realize how ill we have gotten in a sick relationship. Changes are coming, but they could all lead to a healthy and happy life.
I never knew what to say to my son...I would say "how are you" and listen alot....I tried not to take things personally for a while...like leaving our first christmas with him sober (with 20 or 30 people) to get him to a meeting. It is a journey.
Just breathe deeply and live in the moment.- THERE! that is what I should have written.

His journey is just beginning, just remember that recovery is a process, and it takes time. Allow him to do whatever is needed to get and continue to maintain sobriety, meetings, getting a sponsor. Be sure to move your life forward as well. And as my friend blue said, deep breaths and take one day at a time.

I agree with my friends,, this is recovery and be supportive but don't interfere,,learn the difference between being clean and not using there is a big difference,, and your boyfriend is coming out not using,, great step in the right direction towards being clean,, keep in mind you probably will not be his first priority(don't take it personal ) set boundaries,for 30 days he was in a structure environment, when he walks out those doors,, does not cure him, he was given tools, you can not recover for him,, I hope in those last 30 days you took care of you,,,accommodating a recovery addict,, important, stepping in a controlling,, always asking if they are ok,, questions their every move,, not so good,, you can only control yourself,,, encourage , be positive,, and never give up,,your journey towards sobriety starts the day you pick him up from rehap,,,don't be a trigger ,

Good luck,, keep focus,,, peace!

I have to comment on don't be a trigger...I have heard this before and I don't understand it at all. Seems like an easy way to not take responsibility for addict thinking.....
I wonder how this is talked about in a rehab, meeting etc.
Are they told to avoid their crying baby because that is a trigger instead of learning to have tolerance of things like the rest of us have to.
I am not an addict but can't believe that any addict should blame another person, place or thing(trigger) for their choose to drink!!

Triggers are not blaming someone, it is identifying what is their potential trigger and then learning how to work through it, because within 2 minutes of the brain saying I want my drug if they have the tools to work through it they can live a clean sober life. Think of it we all have triggers that make us angry or sad, over eat, identifying the trigger is a part of the recovery process that they are responsible for,

Thanks for explaining that and also that they are responsible to learn how to deal with their triggers.
I am sure some addicts do blame other people as their reason for picking up a drink and that is ridiculous when most people know it is the addict brain that is the problem.

Triggers are for instance, taking the long way around an area if that is where the person use to get their drugs. In a relationship you can be the trigger because the person falls back on old habits. So instead you have to decide what your boundaries will be, if he relapses what are his plans, if he doesn't do what he says what our your plans. For me ex ah would come back, do good for a while and then he would fall back into his old patterns and as I set my boundaries he found it hard to get money or trick me into getting money. Eventually he resorted to stealing my daughters small electronic devices and I kicked him out.
So, set your boundaries, and let him handle his sobriety, be supportive but don't fall for his pass manipulative behaviors. Good luck.