I have been with this man for 2.5 years and he is a crack cocaine binger. We rebuild and then he binges and destroys everything we have rebuilt. I recently picked him up from the hospital and after a couple of days I felt I couldn't do this. I love him, fear for him and am consumed by him in my thoughts. I recently moved and have had no desire or drive to set up my life and move forward, I look around and wonder how and why I have ended up here. I want to be with him but yet when were together I still can no longer move forward and do the basics for myself. I want that desire and drive back to set up a home for me and get through all my pain, which alot of my pain I already had before I met this guy. It was like he swept me of my feet and then I found out he had a drug problem and have spent the last 2 plus years being consumed and drained by him. How long shoud I grieve this lloss and how do i move forward and wake up in the morning for me and sya ok todays the day I begin my life. Instead everyday i just look around at what needs to be done and say why bother? Hate these feelings and want to pick up my own peices and move forward?
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