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letter of a bitterly disappointed father

Pen125
Pen125
Here's a link to a commentary about the notorious [at least in the UK] by now email a "bitterly disappointed" father sent to his three adult children.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/27/opinion/brooks-how-people-change.html?smid=fb-share

I'm posting it because it makes a grand remark on behaviourism, which I still feel is a good school of psychotherapy [the eternal optimist in me believes that, yes, people change under the right circumstances].

Extract:
"Its foolhardy to try to persuade people to see the profound errors of their ways in the hope that mental change will lead to behavioral change. Instead, try to change superficial behavior first and hope that, if they act differently, theyll eventually think differently."
dmatt124
dmatt124
That was an extraordinary piece, and very true. Thank you for sharing.
patnard
patnard
All I have to say is WOW! Thanks for sharing that how true.
katrinka
katrinka
I found this man to be a typical naval officer type. Direct, to the point, most likely ran his family like his men. I would think for him anyone would be a disappointment, because no one could live up to his expectations. I also read another article where his daughter stated none of the kids had asked for money, she is married to a French Doctor. Plus none of them ever did drugs. It is sad she felt the need to publish his letter and sadder that a father could feel so much utter disapproval.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2234231/The-despairing-father-For-years-Naval-Commander-Nick-Crews-bottled-frustration--snapped-sent-excoriating-email-tearing-family-apart.html
Pen125
Pen125
The daughter, though, seems to understant where her father is coming from. She admits of the need to do some growing up..

Balance, that's what's all about. High expectations can crush the spirit. Lack of expectations don't nurture the spirit.
katrinka
katrinka
I think I looked at it more from a mothers point of view with adult children and I would never say any of what he said to them. I just wouldn't have the heart. We all struggle some more then others, and I know in the past thank god my dad was there for me and he didn't send me a nasty email like this one. But yes his daughter did see where he was coming from, although this is a letter the public did not need to read it was personal, and how many times have we said something only to later regret what we said. I find it sad.
marg6300
marg6300
I thought the father was a jerk. His kids may have disappointed him but he was a disapointment as a dad too. The point I did agree with was that you get better behavior from people with kindness and positive encouragement.