Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
What I Do And Why it Does Not Work:
I inappropriately think it is my duty to point out and correct all his weird, negative, and nasty behaviors.. It is not. I want to " help" him. I cannot. I want him to hear me . He cannot.
I hate it when he criticizes me, I'm sure he hates to be criticized too. I call him out on his behavior all the time. I need to stop. Not that he does not do it to me ( he denies this, but it is true I'm not crazy) . But I need
to grow a thicker skin.
I accuse him of being so self- superior in everything...... Well I have a superior " at least Im Not an alcoholic/ addict attitude".
I picked a fight last night at 10:00 pm it was stupid and unimportant but I couldn't let it go. I knew exactly what I was doing in my raging codependent mode but kept it up.
So the morning after I realize I am so filled with anger and resentment and grief that I am in awe a body can contain all that nagative sh**. Maybe that is why I am so triggered by his bad attitudes even when they are not directed at me. My own stuff is so close to the surface that any little trigger, and they come flying out of my mouth. I want a bit more respect and show of effort at change from him, but when he dies, I blow it off as not dood enough or not credible or just waiting for his next failure. In order to feel better about my own self and increase the peace in this home I need to take it down a notch. The Warrior Goddess needs to take a vacation. I'm going to yoga class to just breathe now.
Have a nice Sunday my friends ? Namaste.
I inappropriately think it is my duty to point out and correct all his weird, negative, and nasty behaviors.. It is not. I want to " help" him. I cannot. I want him to hear me . He cannot.
I hate it when he criticizes me, I'm sure he hates to be criticized too. I call him out on his behavior all the time. I need to stop. Not that he does not do it to me ( he denies this, but it is true I'm not crazy) . But I need
to grow a thicker skin.
I accuse him of being so self- superior in everything...... Well I have a superior " at least Im Not an alcoholic/ addict attitude".
I picked a fight last night at 10:00 pm it was stupid and unimportant but I couldn't let it go. I knew exactly what I was doing in my raging codependent mode but kept it up.
So the morning after I realize I am so filled with anger and resentment and grief that I am in awe a body can contain all that nagative sh**. Maybe that is why I am so triggered by his bad attitudes even when they are not directed at me. My own stuff is so close to the surface that any little trigger, and they come flying out of my mouth. I want a bit more respect and show of effort at change from him, but when he dies, I blow it off as not dood enough or not credible or just waiting for his next failure. In order to feel better about my own self and increase the peace in this home I need to take it down a notch. The Warrior Goddess needs to take a vacation. I'm going to yoga class to just breathe now.
Have a nice Sunday my friends ? Namaste.
Some days I wish I could trade places with someone, anyone but me, today is one of those days and it's not even the addict in my life that's making me so angry, it's my high and Almighty son!!! I wish I could just get in my car and drive away far far away!!!
some days...not so much.
so we move on.
hope the yoga class was awesome.
For me, I am ok with the fact I get angry and pick a fight. After all I didn't choose to have two sons shoving a needle in their arms. I am angry. I'm A lot of things I dont want to be. I am a mom of two addicts and if I feel like yelling thats my right.
I love them, but sometimes I want to slap them so hard. Maybe I'm defective for feeling that. But I still would like to.
Oh .... There he goes nodding off on the couch while eating potato chips. Ugh.... I think I will finish this pint of chocolate chip ice cream and go to bed.
In all seriousness..... I send my heart and my love and my prayers.
He told our mutual friends that he wasn't drinking anymore (09) - I thought that was an odd statement, especially in front of a stranger.
As time went on, I thought something was off but couldn't figure out what it was. One day while I was fixing breakfast, I noticed a beer can sitting on his placemat. I should have left then and never looked back.
The anger came slowly and now it is a kettle on the stove ready to whistle! I have offered to go to AA with him, etc. To be honest, the main reason I am here is because of a darling Maine Coon cat he rescued a few years ago. I am the one who buys her different food and snacks, scratch pads and toys. He will sit outside with her or take a nap with her!!!
Am feeling better realizing I am not alone. I wish we could have lunch together - gather support - and return to our homes refreshed! Best wishes.