I think you're right. My A did stop drinking and driving after HE was hit by a drunk driver. But I completely agree, don't share with him.

He is playing mind games. Get yourself as independent as possible. You certainly don't want to suffer any further the consequences of his drinking

I entirely understand where you are coming from. My AH and I are separated and heading for divorce (as soon as he gets out of rehab and can sign the settlement agreement). He and I are still on the same policy, too.

I had asked a divorce attorney about liability for anything my AH might do - like get into an accident and he said it didn't really matter if we are on the same policy. He really made it sound like as long as you are married, someone who sues him could come after my assets.

Just something to think about (I know I do).

You definitely should not share his policy. Our son has two OWI's and he's on our policy. So is our daughter. Our insurance agent said that everyone on our policy could become uninsurable, including our daughter, if our son had any other major incident. That includes an accident, drunk or sober. Our son is no longer allowed to drive, but he still remains on our policy as long as he lives in our house. We're working on moving him out. We're also getting our daughter her own policy now that she is 24 and living on her own.

As long as you are still married, you could be liable for his accidents even if you are on separate policies. They would go to his policy first, but then could go after you for any excess. That's a good reason for filing for a legal separation and/or divorce. (I don't know if legal separation would be sufficient.) If you are still liable, then it makes sense to get yourself an umbrella liability insurance, unless you have good liability coverage on homeowner's or renter's insurance.

This is so typical. He can afford two cars plus the extra cost of storage, but not the cost of insurance. Good for you for standing your ground. You are separated and not getting back together. You are under no obligation to help him, especially if it puts you at risk. He has the ability to help himself by selling a car, taking public transportation, or quitting drinking.

awaiting - that makes really unhappy that his actions driving drunk still could effect my assets even though we are on different policies. I thought I was protecting myself. I was going to wait awhile before I filed for divorce for 2 reasons - my son will be graduating in May with an open house in June - I was hoping to have a joint party with both sides of the family for my sons sake and if I file before that things could get ugly and I want this time to be about my son and his graduation, also my husband is suppose to have a total knee replacement the end of March and I thought it would be kind to let him get through this without the added stress of filing for divorce - emotionally and financially and physically - it is a big surgery with a not just a little amount of recovery..

I don't know if I am doing the right thing by waiting to file. But I certainly don't trust my husband because of his alcoholism and the fact he stole my pain pills. He has addictions and therefore lies and tells people what he thinks they want to hear. Lots of denial on his part going on.

You know what you have to do and if he is having a surgery, it is going to be a perfect time for him to have a license to abuse pain killers. I would use this time to make sure you are financially and mentally ready for the inevitable.

He is already getting an endless supply of vicodin for his knee pain - his knee is bone on bone - 3 months at least now maybe longer - I know he has pain - his knee xray is a mess - but pain pills and alcohol not a good mix and could cause liver damage quicker. Of course if his Dr knew he was drinking again he wouldn't be getting any.