Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
Just sick of hearing everyone's happy little stories and posts about their wonderful kids and how proud they are of them. How dropping them off at college makes them cry and what fabulous things they are doing.
I wish people could be real. I guess I get it no one wants to hear your junk.
I used to be one of those mom's too until my son hit drugs in college although he was raised differently and knew better. I just don't like feeling all this resentfulness and feeling like no one understands or cares.
While my friends were dropping their kids off this past weekend , my husband and I were dealing with our son who was mad at us because we had repo'd the car that was in my husband's names because he wasn't making payments, doing drugs and got fired from ANOTHER job. My husband was trying to give him solutions without enabling him and he starts a huge screaming match in our front yard and we are worthless parents.
Just feeling a pity party today and disgusted.
I wish people could be real. I guess I get it no one wants to hear your junk.
I used to be one of those mom's too until my son hit drugs in college although he was raised differently and knew better. I just don't like feeling all this resentfulness and feeling like no one understands or cares.
While my friends were dropping their kids off this past weekend , my husband and I were dealing with our son who was mad at us because we had repo'd the car that was in my husband's names because he wasn't making payments, doing drugs and got fired from ANOTHER job. My husband was trying to give him solutions without enabling him and he starts a huge screaming match in our front yard and we are worthless parents.
Just feeling a pity party today and disgusted.
I know I am looked down on as if it was all my fault. I did my best as a single parent that married a drug addict myself.
No one wants to hear your junk....your are so right. The world is filled with PERFECT kids whose parents couldn't care less about our junkie kids....until one day it creeps up on them with a Grandchild or some other loved one. Then they get it. I wish this life on not even my worst enemy. But the world needs to wake the F Up and support each other.
Yeah so I envy them living in Pleasantville. I wish I could to. Reality is I live with addicts in my world. And I dare someone to say I am not strong and deserving of a better life....or that my kid doesn't matter. So now I surround myself ONLY with those who have a heart big enough to care.
I have a friend that I always thought why do I have all this STUFF going on all the time, and her life is always so PERFECT. Come to find out years later her life is NOT perfect they just didn't talk about it. They hid so much from everyone, and still are acting like the perfect family but I know the truth from her that it really isn't.
My daughter in law and I are the only ones in our family that are not addicts or alcoholics. I just found out I'm as sick as they are though because I am co dependent and a enabler. I just started going to Alanon and it is helping me so much. Also go out and enjoy being with YOU and take a long walk & hot bath. It does wonders!!!
I'm the one that does everything for everyone, but I now have put up my boundary and am saying NO!!!
I just found out in a class that we are not in Control of anyone and nobody is in control of us. We are only in control of ourself.
I have never been this way, but I will now be thinking about ME and not everyone else.
I'm sooooooo tired of all of the Alcoholics and drug addicts in my life. Husband, son, step son, step daughter, etc etc.
It is tooooo depressing!!! Now it is all about ME and god!
You never know...Behind those happy scenes, there can be all sorts of eating disorders, drunks, hazing, drugs, pregnancies, rapes all sorts of bad things.
we don't see behind the magic curtain.
AND when our kids get sober (mine did)...they can handle any piece of crap thrown at them...because they have visited hell and were lucky enough to survive. And that knowledge can't be found in books.
You never know. Some of them really do have easy lives. For now.
Nevermind all the other problems families have.
Sometimes I feel surrounded by perfect families with perfect children constantly advertising their successes and it is a hard reminder that my family is not even close to perfect. My oldest son went to college 2 years ago and started using heroin. He should be starting his junior year but instead he is looking for a job and a sober house; fresh out of rehab for the 4th time. I want to be happy that he is sober and be able to tell family and friends that he is doing well but I can't help but feel it is only temporary so I don't say anything,
Even though my other children have had their successes over the last year it all seems clouded by my son's addiction. My oldest daughter just started her freshman year of college. She is a great student and received a substantial scholarship to an excellent school. I really am happy and excited for her but every time people ask me if she is my first to go off to college there is the awkward moment where if I answer honestly, a line a questions I do not want to answer will follow. I don't want to tell people, especially strangers that yes, I have been down this road before but it did not go well. It feels like a piece of my family is missing because I have a son I don't want to talk about anymore. I just want to feel proud of all my children and feel like I have a mostly "normal" family.
And when I have met some wise ass from my son's past and they asked me where he was....I told the kid that my son was sitting in jail and he was going to be next. I really let it fly.
I spent way too much time asking "why us, what did we do wrong" etc....guess what? we didn't do anything wrong. and it happens all over the place. We go through a ton of feelings...that is why here is such a great place! No one understands who hasn't gone thru it...
did you hear the story about the woman I walked with twice a week for four miles each day for seven years?.......One day she says to me: "well if kids are raised right, they don't get in trouble"....(I was running a sunday school with 250 kids)...I said "Do you know you just said that out loud?"
That was the end of the friendship. 7 years....really? Geeze.