Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...

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leighla101 05/03/2015

It's 3:40 in the morning. Crying and sick to my stomach because of guilt over having to call the police to have my drunk alcoholic younger (36) brother removed from my home. I know his actions caused it. Still doesn't seem to stop the tears. I would give anything for him to find sobriety and some peace. It is so hard to see him go through the full range of emoton of rage, then self hatred, then rage ,and then you glimpse his helplessness of this disease and it breaks your heart. Then that is quickly replaced with fear and disgust of the things that come out of his mouth.

I know he is responsible for his actions. But that is of little solace in the wee hours of a sleepless night worried about what his life has become.

I took him in after rehab to let him get on his feet. I fully explained house rules and zero tolerance on drinking and drugs. He apparently did not believe me. Cops had to come out twice and the last time arrested him for disorderly conduct.

I wish I was the heartless person her screamed and cried at me as they removed him, because my heart is breaking.

leemoore 05/03/2015

I know this was probably one of the hardest things you have ever had to do. That being said I think you should be proud of yourself for keeping your boundaries and following through with the consequences. I am sure your brother after he is clean will realize that you are not to blame for his choices.

cab6 05/04/2015

Be strong! Worry and fear are the two things that are killing us, oh wait, add guilt and shame. Addicts are vey practiced at manipulation; it isn't malicious, it's just a way of life for them. So, you get the blame and rage when their manipulation doesn't work. It's to your credit that you are standing strong. I'm going through awful doubt over my situation. So far I am almost keeping it together, you can too!

blueviolet725 05/04/2015

I am very sorry for your pain. You did what you had to do.

gordos4 05/04/2015

You don't want to be heartless, it damages your soul. Please hang in there, Im sorry for you situation..

donna7455 05/04/2015

If you were heartless, you wouldn't feel this bad.

You did the right thing. Chances are that he's going to have an order from the judge not to have alcohol. Maybe the legal consequences if he gets caught drinking will help him get clean. You may have saved his life.

Misssy2 05/04/2015

You have to protect yourself. You have to live peacefully. You have to worry about you. I know it hurts I had my son taken into custody once and it does break your heart. My son wasn't fixed after that.

But he also did not cross anymore of my boundaries. It may save his life and if it does that would be wonderful....it may not.....but it HAS not right at this second given you peace of mind...but it will. You will feel stronger soon.

I'm sorry your sad. I'm sorry this happened. And you said it yourself YOU DID NOT DO THIS......

leighla101 05/06/2015

thank you all for your kind words and support. it has meant a lot.it's been 3 days,I still have the moments and sadness and doubt that it could have been different. but after reading this it reminds me that I did the right thing and help strengthen my resolve. on the positive after just 3 days our home has returned to some semblance of normalcy. all the tension and anger he brought into our home everyday has dissipated. we don't dread coming home and in fact are starting to enjoy our time together again. it helps that the simple things bring comfort reminds us of all that we do have in all that we have to look forward to. right now we've been ignoring the calls from the jail. he called the day after being arrested and apologized. and part of me is happy that he did but also realized it was another manipulation because he immediately asked if he could come back when he gets out.I told him I was not ready to even consider that and truthfully I will never let him back in my home againI only hope that he takes this time to really look at the consequences his actions have left him with. thank you all for the support it means the world to me.

blueviolet725 05/06/2015

you sound like you see things clearly now. I am glad for you. the drama is not worth your family.
How wonderful that you have a plan to follow. It will still be hard, but so much easier now that you have boundaries.
glad you have peace in your home.

plantlover 05/06/2015

Oh I can totally relate. Even though I'm on this site because of my son, my older brother was an addict.
It's been so many years but I remember that feeling. I wanted to help him, save him.
Take care of yourself and your family.
Be strong.
Big hugs

jainlor 05/08/2015

you did the right thing. take care of yourself :) I know how hard it is.

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