Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
I'm a member of the alcoholism support group. I've been sober 4 months. My best friend is struggling with my sobriety - she is worried I'll fall and that she will be the one to blame. I've talked to my sponsor about it, and she suggested among other things, getting her a book to help.
Do y'all have any suggestions? I've seen the al-anon books, but she also has a hard time with the steps.
Thanks so much in advance.
Do y'all have any suggestions? I've seen the al-anon books, but she also has a hard time with the steps.
Thanks so much in advance.
She needs to learn (and this is hard sometimes) that this is YOUR recovery and it really has nothing to do with her. It's very easy to feel the pressure though when you have an addict/alcoholic in your life. It feels as if we're to blame when in reality, everything falls on the addict themselves.
Would your friend ever attend an AA meeting with you? I ask because I went with my husband to an NA meeting for his 30 days. I was freaking out before the meeting (just as the people here) and nervous about how I"d react and respond and feel. I went....it was eye opening. I listened to people. I heard their stories. I listened to the hurt and sadness and anger. It was good to hear. And I have more respect for my husband to know that he does this meeting thing every single day.
I personally don't attend Al-anon type meetings. I like this website a lot and find a lot of comfort in meeting people who can relate to how I feel. Maybe she may want to come check it out herself?
1. A family program where I learned how addition works on the brain and that it's a disease - she or you could google this topic and it might help her about blaming herself.
2. Talking about triggers. I didn't want to 'activate' them, lol. I was able to relax a little when the person in my life told me their triggers so I could relax when they weren't happening.
3. Learning the signs of active addiction. I watched for them at first and it let me relax a little when I didn't see them. Those can be googled, also.
Long term she has to come to terms with letting you recover and not trying to fix you or obsess about her role. But I think at first, the ideas above may help her worry less and not blame herself.