Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
http://www.dailystrength.org/people/292559/journal
here is a journal update written to my addict husband...just a little background really quick ...
I got home from visiting a friend of mine who is in some really big trouble... I had a headache...was starving... and smelled something really good when I walked into the house ... so ... I went into the kitchen and saw a plate of food from luby's on the stove ... I opened it and saw that it was fried fish, macaroni, and green beans ... the only meal I ever eat at Luby's ... been eating the samething all my life ... I love it ... I got real excited and told my husband "thank you!...I'm going to eat this right now cause i'm starving" ... well he started telling me; don't you eat that unless your going to pay for it ... i bought that for me to eat later ... and if you eat your going to have to pay me for it! ... I really thought he was just kidding around...so I sat it down and proceeded to taste ONE f'ing green bean ... this man...who I have supported and loved and cared for and put up with for the last seven years had the nerve to address me by my first name (he never does that cause he's always kissing my ass by calling me by a term of endearment that we have for each other-from when he was sober) ... he called me by my first name and said ... "I am serious! I bought that to eat later and if you eat it you are going to have pay me back"...
AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH! ...
I was so pissed and hurt at the same time ... he knows I don't have any oney ... had I had money, I probably would have overpaid him to eat...just to show him...but I DON"T HAVE ANY MONEY right now .. so with tears welling up in my eyes, I closed the container, and took it back into the kitchen and just went and laid down and tried to go to sleep to get rid of my headache .. and I did ... went to sleep and didn't wake up till about 2am ... fumbled around in the dark (cause the KING is sleep) and then left to go get some fast food ... I hadn't eaten since ten in the morning! ... wow ... now I'm hear venting ... cause it doesn't do me any good to vent or yell at him so I come on here and do it ...
but really... I am done ... I refuse to continue to allow him to ruin my life...
I'm going back to bed now...then church ...and then I am going to reclaim MY LIFE ... like they say in the Army Airborne:
KILL THEM ALL ... let GOD sort them out!
here is a journal update written to my addict husband...just a little background really quick ...
I got home from visiting a friend of mine who is in some really big trouble... I had a headache...was starving... and smelled something really good when I walked into the house ... so ... I went into the kitchen and saw a plate of food from luby's on the stove ... I opened it and saw that it was fried fish, macaroni, and green beans ... the only meal I ever eat at Luby's ... been eating the samething all my life ... I love it ... I got real excited and told my husband "thank you!...I'm going to eat this right now cause i'm starving" ... well he started telling me; don't you eat that unless your going to pay for it ... i bought that for me to eat later ... and if you eat your going to have to pay me for it! ... I really thought he was just kidding around...so I sat it down and proceeded to taste ONE f'ing green bean ... this man...who I have supported and loved and cared for and put up with for the last seven years had the nerve to address me by my first name (he never does that cause he's always kissing my ass by calling me by a term of endearment that we have for each other-from when he was sober) ... he called me by my first name and said ... "I am serious! I bought that to eat later and if you eat it you are going to have pay me back"...
AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH! ...
I was so pissed and hurt at the same time ... he knows I don't have any oney ... had I had money, I probably would have overpaid him to eat...just to show him...but I DON"T HAVE ANY MONEY right now .. so with tears welling up in my eyes, I closed the container, and took it back into the kitchen and just went and laid down and tried to go to sleep to get rid of my headache .. and I did ... went to sleep and didn't wake up till about 2am ... fumbled around in the dark (cause the KING is sleep) and then left to go get some fast food ... I hadn't eaten since ten in the morning! ... wow ... now I'm hear venting ... cause it doesn't do me any good to vent or yell at him so I come on here and do it ...
but really... I am done ... I refuse to continue to allow him to ruin my life...
I'm going back to bed now...then church ...and then I am going to reclaim MY LIFE ... like they say in the Army Airborne:
KILL THEM ALL ... let GOD sort them out!
I know it hurts and we think, everything I've done for him and this is how I am treated. Your right it wouldn't do any good to yell or scream at him he would find a way to use that against you. One day you will really be done and realize its not worth all the effort to be treated like crap. They treat you great one day, then back to treating you like crap its like brain washing. Wear you down hen give a little loving and comfort, then take it away again. In psychology class we learned about this and how this keeps people in relationships for years.
I hope today is a better day for you, and if you have a little extra money go get that meal. Come home and sit down and it eat it and keeps saying how good it is!
Hugs