Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...

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Is this bad?

macksbaby
macksbaby
I talked to him today. He's still alive. I don't care. I really don't care. Is that bad? Shouldn't I care just a tiny bit that he's at least alive?
katrinka
katrinka
Your mad, upset in the beginning we are so glad to hear their voice, we just want to know they are okay. Then as time goes on we start to realize how selfish their behavior is, how they are thinking of only themselves and we start detaching. We have to detach in order to keep some sanity in our lives.
cardinal39
cardinal39
you know what,, mack,, you do care,,, otherwise, you would be trying to convince us you don't care,,,,, yea he is alive,,, just live each day,,, this only the beginning,,,, we all.. will walk through this with you,,,, have to let go,,,,,, there is nothing you can do for you addicit right now,,, but pray for him,,, all you can do,,, is do something for yourself,,, quit,, be obsessed with him,,,your becomming your addicits, addiction
macksbaby
macksbaby
I had a good cry this morning. When I stopped, I just didn't care anymore. I went about my day. Got my work done, got my kid from school, sold off some toys she doesn't use. Didn't think about him till my computer turned on. Then I realized, I didn't care. I think this is progress. I'm gonna watch some SOA now. Till I fall asleep. I think I'll be able to sleep tonight too.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sounds like your on your way to healing. Once you can look up and wipe your tears and say "yes. I'm done", that's a sign of being healed. To me that is not holding his sickness in your heart and on your shoulders. Good luck stay strong.
deleted_user
deleted_user
At a certain point, the feelings turn numb. I actually think its a healthy place to be in. It's hard to make the right decisions when you're seriously in pain and angry.

Loving an addict cause grief, and we do grieve. You're at the end of the grieving process! The process of healing!

You can't turn all of your feelings off, but being able to live your life without being crazy over what he is doing, is AWESOME!!! Who wants the grief??
cardinal39
cardinal39
actually by you saying you don't care,,, really means you do,,, because you would not be trying to convince us,,, and yourself,,,,it helps to detach from the addicit,,,, that would mean you don't care,,, but connect with Mack,,,, there truly is a person behind the addict,,, wish at times they would know it!