Hi! So I used to be engaged to an RA (recovering gambling addict).. Six months ago, into his 1.5 years of recovery.. I don't know about sobriety... he suddenly changed. he said he needed to focus on his program and said could not meet my demands in the relationship. we were engaged. We did not have any formal closures.. in our last few exchanges he told me that eventually things will improve.. then he suddenly detached, no contact at all. up to today... its been 6 months... in my heart I still believe what he told me. finding it hard to move on... everyday I still think about him. one of our common friends said that he said the same thing... that he too thinks about me and misses me everyday and still loves me.. but it's not yet time... and that he is the problem. (of course all relationships are and people are work in progress)..I don't understand when I hear he says that he loves me very much.. yet lacks showing it. not even one hello for the last 6 months. can you love a person truly that way? our common friend also told me to try one last time to initiate once and for all a talk.. but honestly... I really do not wanna do that. if I wanted to do that, I did that a looong time ago. besides, before this falling apart, that was my active role... to save and save the relationship and chase after him.. and he would shut me out,, turn off his phone. id call him 50 times, he'd turn off his phone.. if im lucky, 1 return call. his way is always away from me... away from me.. distance... which was also a struggle for me. but whenever I initiate he accepts me willingly and can be sweet again.. but how I wish he makes MORE effort and show me how much he values the relationship, and I don't have to be doing the chasing. in the last 6 months ive allowed that space because I also wanted to try something different. I wanted to see as well if my change will make him change his mind too... but since, no actions nor word from him. I hate that people in recovery know how he is doing, but I don't... I know that recovery is personal, but what I don't understand is why he had to exclude or completely detach from me... if Im okay that we journey side by side... is that a bad requirement or expectation? does that make me a love addict or a clingy partner? there is beauty in witnessing each other grow right?
2 weeks ago, we accidentally crossed paths. we saw each other.. stared for a while.. I monotonously said hello and diverted my attention..
then he just smirked briefly... then no more.. I was hoping to get a text or a call.. or even offer me a ride home.. but nothing... and just a few days before that he told my officemate that he loves me very much..

a friend told me to completely surrender him to God and have no expectations anymore.. and just focus on myself and moving on... but im really having a hard time accepting that it may be over... in my heart I know that if did just want to pusssh myself, I can make one last effort to talk, to mend things... but my question is... what's next? is that the right thing to do? will that help? I'm stuck in the middle. I love him... and I miss the old him a lot... everyday I pray and hope that he shows himself up to me.. or I'll receive a message from him. I always pray that he is okay... and pray that he accepts that we can work on recovery side by side...
what to do? I'm scared to regret later on if I don't do anything.. but how about my needs?

i've not been attending meetings anymore... it's not helping to be too conscious that there's something wrong with me.. how can you gain yourself back, have that sense of sureness about yourself, when things like this happen...

what do you think? thanks for reading. and I wish you all well.