Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
I just received a letter from my son's school inviting me to attend a breakfast on Thursday, Jan.15th with both the middle and high school administration to share "pertinent" data on the drug problem. They are seeking my help and would like to problem solve with me over "our problem".
The school, like many schools, across our nation have all kinds of alcohol and other drug programs, "parent information nights", and assemblies but still find "the use of drugs increases and proliferates".
As a parent of a teen in recovery, I am have a clearer picture of what might help the situation a bit more than I did a year ago when my son was in bad shape , so I'm glad to be included. I also understand that what anyone proposes (either myself, people at the meeting, or anyone on this site) will not stop the usage, nor will probably slow down the escalation, BUT it certainly can help matters - if the school and parents have a better "handle" on the situation.
As a parent, if you were asked for some input form your child's school - what would you suggest? Please feel free to comment or add...
*In the beginning of the year a letter could be sent out to parents. The letter could include: 1) Let the parents know that the school has an alcohol and other drug problem. Since very few parents attend these "parent info. drug nights" bring the information to the parents in letter form,too. 2) The alcohol/drug problem is a concern whether or not their child is at the abuse level or the dependent level. Teens are at risk either way. 50% of teens in our school have experimented with it. It's not someone else's problem - it can happen to any one's child. 3) Include a checklist of the signs of abuse/dependency. 4)Let the parents know a resource packet is available (I did this)to them if they need help. Perhaps then the communication between the school and parents could start earlier. 5)Hear rumors? Better to be safe than sorry. Call - confidentially. 6) Perhaps a short testimony comment from a parent stating how supportive the school administration is and how important it is for the parent to be supportive of the school. *This might help the administration deal with "difficult" parents and not be so defensive.
Communication: We didn't know who our son was friends with anymore once he started down this "path". Perhaps there is a way to (if parents sign a form) for other parents in the same boat or who have children who are friends with that parent's child to contact one another. When my husband and I first went for help, the first thing that was asked of us was "who are your son's friends?" We couldn't answer very many because he was secretive about them.
If you can any constuctive comments, that would be great. I would appreciate it.
The school, like many schools, across our nation have all kinds of alcohol and other drug programs, "parent information nights", and assemblies but still find "the use of drugs increases and proliferates".
As a parent of a teen in recovery, I am have a clearer picture of what might help the situation a bit more than I did a year ago when my son was in bad shape , so I'm glad to be included. I also understand that what anyone proposes (either myself, people at the meeting, or anyone on this site) will not stop the usage, nor will probably slow down the escalation, BUT it certainly can help matters - if the school and parents have a better "handle" on the situation.
As a parent, if you were asked for some input form your child's school - what would you suggest? Please feel free to comment or add...
*In the beginning of the year a letter could be sent out to parents. The letter could include: 1) Let the parents know that the school has an alcohol and other drug problem. Since very few parents attend these "parent info. drug nights" bring the information to the parents in letter form,too. 2) The alcohol/drug problem is a concern whether or not their child is at the abuse level or the dependent level. Teens are at risk either way. 50% of teens in our school have experimented with it. It's not someone else's problem - it can happen to any one's child. 3) Include a checklist of the signs of abuse/dependency. 4)Let the parents know a resource packet is available (I did this)to them if they need help. Perhaps then the communication between the school and parents could start earlier. 5)Hear rumors? Better to be safe than sorry. Call - confidentially. 6) Perhaps a short testimony comment from a parent stating how supportive the school administration is and how important it is for the parent to be supportive of the school. *This might help the administration deal with "difficult" parents and not be so defensive.
Communication: We didn't know who our son was friends with anymore once he started down this "path". Perhaps there is a way to (if parents sign a form) for other parents in the same boat or who have children who are friends with that parent's child to contact one another. When my husband and I first went for help, the first thing that was asked of us was "who are your son's friends?" We couldn't answer very many because he was secretive about them.
If you can any constuctive comments, that would be great. I would appreciate it.
Pills, pot, booze.
Out here in L.A. The cops, teachers, ect...
dont or dont have the time to give a crap.
Parents are on their own.
Joemm - I guess I am blessed to be living where I am - in a community and school that does care. I'm sorry you've had a bad experience than I regarding support. I'm sure there are some who care but just might be overwhelmed as to what to do. What would you like to have had in your son's school?
I had no experience with addiction at all with myself or family so I didn't know what to do. I had to take a crash course. Perhaps there are some parents who've either are in recovery or have experience in their family who wished that may have some input. What was the first thing you did once you knew your child had a chemical dependency?
I can't really see the school being of any help. Unless he had gotten caught with something at school. I had absolutely no support or information back then, none.
By the time a child starts using drugs, for 50% of them it is too late. We all know the low success rate for recovery. And focusing on drug use is like focusing on trying to make a child disappear after it has already been born.
85% or greater percentage of addicts are merely self-medicating. Why and What are they medidicating? They are trying to escape their feelings and emotions because they don't have the skill sets to deal with problems, issues, pressures, stress and everyday life. They want the feeling to go away and they do that with drugs to numb them, or make them feel better and forget.
This becomes their method of coping and fundamentally changes their thought processes forever.
If in fact a school wants to tackle the issue of drug use, abuse and addiction. They need to look at all three stages and examine the factors which lead to drug use as a coping method.
For instance, a child may have very poor social skills and suffer extreme anxiety, he therefore starts medicating with drugs to feel less anxious and more talkative with the goal being he/she will make friends.
In this instance, that child needs to be taught social and communication skills as well as identifying healthy outlets.
Many children have extremely high expectations placed on them by their parents.
This drives anxiety and is in large part a factor in suicides.
The elimination of "liberal arts" classes as an outlet is also a contributing factor. If students had "hobbies" musical instruments, theatre, and other "creative outlets" including mandatory sports, this would also provide a good outlet and healthy coping tool.
The mantra... HALT comes to mind here...
(Any of these factors are also major contributors to relapse and use)
Hungry (Proper nutrition) (too much sugar, caffine, processed foods)
Angry
Lonely
Tired
Students are not eating a proper diet
They don't have tools to deal with their anger, stress, rejection, etc.
Lonely, school is tough and making and keepiing friends is difficult
Tired, students and families pack way too much into their day and schedules with very litle time to restore and rejevenate.
My view again is a careful look at
use
Abuse
Addiction
and programs to help in dealing with the issues which drive these.
I've been working and trying to get a better awareness of the mental health needs some students have. In my own little way....
I didn't get to finish my last post so what I was going to say is - I worked very hard (I was tenacious,in fact) to bring more awareness about depression and suicide prevention at the school. The principal sent mixed messages to me. He said he wanted what I had suggested but ignored me when I tried to get something going. Eventually, I got a speaker to address depression and suicide prevention to the students and parents, fought again to bring in a speaker for a teacher in-service about mental health student needs, and raised funds for a non-profit organization to educate the health class on depression and suicide prevention. So I have tried the proactive approach and NOW - the school is asking for my help after the fact.
I understand that there are a number of reasons teens try drugs. And only a small number have a clinical mental health disorder. Obviously, they are the ones at a higher risk for using. My middle son was in that catogory -yet he didn't use drugs in high school. My youngest who doesn't have clinical depression or anxiety (they did make a quick diagnosis at the treatment center telling us he had it, he didn't) and yet he was the one who used.
That is where the "new and improved" life skills class would come in. It would cover a wide range of issues that every student could relate to. It would include a more in depth look at drugs, too.
But I KNOW the school doesn't want to hear that because that idea is too overwhelming. They don't have the power, funds, etc.
So I have my "band-aid" proposals.... Maybe they will help ....some.