oohhh that is a tough one. But it must be done. The worst thing we can do for siblings of an addict is show them "bad choices get attention." It is so easy to be consumed with behavior of our addict, we set a very bad example for the rest of the family. Right now you might be saying - what about me? And you should. It is about you.
She is not worried about what she is doing to you, her family or anyone else. Addicts are incredibly selfish. When "we" change - everything changes. I know it is not easy and I wish i was there to wrap my arms around you and take the pain away. I used to tell my son, "why is it, I care more about you - than you do about yourself." I finally realized, I needed to care more about me.....
about my other relationships who had long tired of the roller coaster I seemed willing to board over and over again. Or just like the addict, I would soon be alone with his addiction ruling my life.
hugs!!!!

I know exactly what you are feeling. Going through the same thing with my son. In am trying a new approach and haven't seen him or spoken to him in nearly 3 mos. My husband and I are raising his son and sometimes I feel so bad because he has to be around my stressed - out self! I work hard at trying to act normal, but sometimes it's just too hard. Only thing I'm hoping for is that time, lots of it, will ease at least some of this pain.

i wish i had the words to fix you and me ofcourse, ive been with my husband for 14 years(married 8 years) and right after we got married he became addicted to prescription meds and its has really put a damper on life, he overdosed 1/31/05 in a coma for 28 days and on a vent, i thought that would change him, but it didnt, he has slowed down the abuse but he still does it, it makes me sick and after last week i vowed that if it happens again that i will leave and i will im really fed up. it so freaking hard when you love someone and i just dont know how to let go because he is a fantastic person when hes not loaded but hes awful when he is using, my heart really hurts for you, i wish you happiness and peace.

One lady in Alanon would always say "you can divorce your husband but not your children". Its true you still love them and when things are going good its great we are happy and hopeful this time they are going to stay clean. Then they don't and we are heart broken, I can say I know how you feel your heart can feel like it broke in two being ripped apart.
For now all you can do is hope the relapse doesn't last too long. You already had built up the knowledge from before how to deal with her addiction.
I hope you know its the guilt that she won't answer your calls, texts or called on your birthday.
Just keep telling yourself this is out of my control. This is out of my control. I told myself that so many times I finally excepted it.
Hugs