Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...

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cardinal39 04/26/2013

ok here goes,,,,, well a girl at work,, whom Ive become very close with is a recovering herion addicit,,, she relaspsed,,,, and was in jail for the last two months,,, we has a team,, covered all her shifts,, to make sure she had a job when she got out,,, everyone deserves chances,,,,, well she got out yesterday,,, and came into work to talk to the owner,, it was great seeing her, we hugged her,,, she went back into the kitchen,,, and said Hi to the cooks,, and said I'm back,,,, ohhhhhhh,, that was a trigger for me,,,I lost it,,,, not angrily,, but oh the tears started flowing,,, again the expectation of oh thank you, and I'm sorry to let you down,,, would of been nice,,, or perhaps the vision of my daughter walking through that door,,, and being able to hug her in the same way,,, clouded my thoughts,,,,,, of course the chance of her talking to me,,, actually was never really there,,,,, tomorrow I officially work with her again,,,, I love this girl,,, like I said,, we were very close before she ended up in jail for two months,,,,,

so what I'm asking is for a kick in the butt,,,,, right,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, put my big girl pants on,,,,, just missing my daughter

thanks to the best frineds,,, anyone could ask for!!

patnard 04/26/2013

I don't think you need a kick in the butt, I do think your friend could have thanked you all for helping her. I'm sure seeing her reminded you of your daughter, why wouldn't it. I'm sorry you are feeling down and missing your daughter but you are human and we do have feelings. I'm going to tell you what you have said may times, don't be so hard on yourself.

Hugs,
Pat

deehigs 04/26/2013

You are an amazing strong lady who I am proud to have as a friend you have been a rock to sooooo many on here myself included but like janlor stated you are human it is ok to lose it and have a good cry now and then I am guilty of the same thing we all are lets face it Kim you are dealing with one of the hardest situations life could throw at someone and I think you have handled it as courageously as possible you have inspired me so many times to look at the bright side of this tragedy we are living through and I can honestly say you have helped me to survive this. So go ahead and have that cry today but tomorrow put your big girl pants on and get back in that ring and fight love ya sister. Dee

deehigs 04/26/2013

* meant pat nard sorry

blueviolet725 04/26/2013

So you cried? so what! you are allowed. you miss your daughter, and you wish she would walk in the door just like this girl just did.

i will kick you in the pants for one thing...if she screws up again? no saving her job. Sorry.

Have a good cry. you deserve it. Probably kept your head from exploding. So there. That's your kick.
Now go eat ice cream.

cardinal39 04/26/2013

Thanks pat, dee,,, I put my big girl pants on,, just needed to be fed my words,,, it was just the timing of this girl,relasping, and going to jail and last time I talked to k,,,, and then seeing her and giving her a hug,, and still not hearing from k,,, went to a meeting and met with my sponser ( she kicked my beehine),,,, so as the saying goes,,, tomorrow I will embrace Chris ,,,, and keep the light burning of hope,,, the next one to walk through the will be k,,,,

It's not about the storm,, but the ability to dance in the rain,,,,

This to will be my past come tomorrow ,,

Love you guys!!!

Sometimes a swift kick,,, brings me back where I am,, instead of slipping back to where I was

Just goes to show the things we can not control,,,

cardinal39 04/26/2013

Ahh,, thanks blue,,,, felt it, rubbed it,,, and yea actually cry felt good,,, although I'm not one of those gracefull criers,,, ugh,,,
Not a big ice cream eatter,, but did stop and got some hot, warm bread and cheese,,, and ate the whole thing!!!!!

Love ya!!

LoriFla 04/27/2013

Hugs to you...I totally understand! Don't be too hard on yourself, sometimes a good cry is what we need. Wishing all the best for you, and thank you for your inspiration you give us all...Will keep you and K in my prayers..

kimpalmer 04/27/2013

Sweet Kim ~ I think that your experience upon Chris' return to work was completely normal... We all have these powerful emotions connected with the pain of our loved ones addictions. A damn good cry is a huge release, and for me, one of the ways that I am physically reminded to let go... Once those tears spill (and they feel like they come all the way down from my toes) they are gone... I am also coming to realize that my expectations are often what creates my agitation ... Love you dear one... Peace

katrinka 04/27/2013

Saving your friends job was really nice of you and everyone else. Hopefully she will remain clean, and in time let everyone know how much she appreciates the sacrifices everyone made for her. Everyone deserves a chance, and she may of felt like saying, "I'm back!" was a way to ease the tension for her and everyone else.
Any mother would miss their daughter under the same circumstances, not to mention Mother's Day is coming up. Don't be so hard on yourself, we are all human and life is never perfect. I hope someday your daughter realizes what she has given up, because you got from her, a great joy, your granddaughter.

marg6300 04/29/2013

I want you to not be so damn hard on yourself girl! You can hold all of us up when needed and let us hold you up when you need us! I do know how you feel and those tears were there and needed to be shed.. I know by now you have pulled up those big girl pants and have a huge smile on your face and are ready to tackle the world but on the rare times you fall apart we are here to catch you! We all love you girl!

cardinal39 04/29/2013

kim, katrina,, marge, dee,,, I love you guys,,,, yep put my big girl pants on,,, and even apologize to her,, for the crazy attitude,,, she( the girl) is not katelin,,, therefore to target my emtions towards her,, was basically unfair to her,,,,,, so I let go,,, relased,,,, and put a smile on my face,,,,

we all get clouded in this world of addicition,,, and easily can be consumed by it,,,,,,

one day,, katelin will walk through those doors,,,, when it's her turn,,,

again,,,, love all of you!!!!!!!

there really is not enough words to express the greatfullness I stumbled upond this site,,, it's more then just answers,,, the hugs I feel from you all is amazing,,,,

dmatt124 04/29/2013

OK, Sister. STOP trying to be the rock of Gibralta 24/7 it's OK, it's really OK to lose it, cry, scream or miss that beautiful daughter of yours everyday. Sometimes Kim, we keep raising the bar for ourselves and there are days we can't jump high enough to touch it and when we can't we feel like we are not strong enough. Well my dearest friend, you have shown strength and given strength in more ways than you know. Today I was thinking of you, and was going to text you to say, I pray for Kaitlin every night and I do. Tears are a way of purging ourselves from the pain sometimes, so it's OK, and hopefully when this young girl has more clarity she will say Thank you! tonight you don't need a Kick you need a hug.... hope you can feel mine, tommorrow I'll kick your butt. xxoo

cardinal39 04/29/2013

Dmatt,,,, thank you,,, please keep praying that k,,, finds her way,,, trust me,,, I know I don't have to be the rock,,,, but I have to be thd mountain,, for Ava,,, and really the rest of my family,,, they look towards me how to react,,,,

deleted_user 05/01/2013

Kim ditto on not beating yourself up over something like this. Remember we're all human and every once in a while we deserve to give ourselves a little pitty party. But mostly you need to consider the source - what's this Gal's age? If she was born after 1980 all these kids were born in the age of entitlement and their attitude is one of taking not giving. Pretty sad but oh how true!!!

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