Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...

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jms7229 02/13/2013

This might seem an odd entry, but here goes. Because of the blizzards and being stuck in the house for four full days with AH I was a real eye opener for me. I wrote a journal entry this morning with my feelings about that. The long and short of it is : he is a MESS and I can't help, and he does not want help. Okay .... So moving forward. With some sadness but no guilt

He just called..... Oh Lordy Lord.!!!!!!!
"........um ......there seems to be a little discrepancy in the checking account balance...."
I paid the mountain of bills and then transferred the extra into an account he has no access to. I said " I transferred the -$ into savings so we will have enough to pay our taxes" he hung up. Are you kidding? Oh we'll, at least I will be able to pay our tax bill. Excuse my lack of sainthood here but IDIOT!!!!!!! There I feel better.

deleted_user 02/13/2013

Good for you! I just drew some strength from you post that I SO badly needed after what just happened to me :(
I envy your strength and I hope someday to get there. I HAVE to learn to stop beating myself up for their choices and stop letting THEM beat me up for making the choice to no longer accept it.
Thank you for posting that! :))

blueviolet725 02/13/2013

Taking care of yourself, (and by default him as well), is primary. He can't see it, and it really doesn't matter. To be all alanon about it, you probably should have told him, but to be myself- screw it, you took care of business.

Although I am sure it is hard to live with, you seemed to have reached the point of detachment and really, finally, seeing things clearly. I am glad that you have not set yourself up for future trials and tribulations with the IRS! And your bills are paid. Good.

jms7229 02/13/2013

Ha blue violet!!!!! Being all al anon about it. Gave me a chuckle. I think I made it under the al anon umbrella by choosing the " no drama" option. I think I will give up drama and guilt for lent.

blueviolet725 02/13/2013

Ha! Love it...so should we all!

jainlor 02/13/2013

please keep hating the addiction but love your son. he can't fight the demons alone. my son after lying, stealing etc....for years finally had the courage to tell us he needed help. I believe he wouldn't have done that if we had disowned him....keep hugging him and loving him. But hate the addicition and pray and do everything in your power to help your son to get help. please never ever give up. my son said he does not know where he would be if we had given up on him. you see they hate themselves for doing it but do not have the resources to fight the addiction on their own. wishing you strength

jainlor 02/13/2013

oops wrong post sorry :)

plantlover 02/13/2013

I love it! Sometimes you just have to be honest.

Good for you!

dmatt124 02/15/2013

Clapping my hands for you! you go girl.

marg6300 02/15/2013

good job!!

katrinka 02/15/2013

Didn't it feel good to know you had already transferred the money over for the taxes. Take care of yourself and the bills. Up until this past year I was still getting IRS bills from when I was married to ah. Thankfully that's all behind me!

deleted_user 02/15/2013

Good for you!

He's only angry because you're his roadblock right now. But you're taking control back and setting boundaries.

I'd notice my own husband would get pissed when I stood in the way of his drugs. Usually it just meant I stopped enabling.

I'm proud of you!

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