Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
I was away on business and my husband told me our son didn't come home last night. Supposedly worked late slept in his car. My husband said then when you come home you will take a drug test. Of course his pay check was direct deposite last night at midnight. We have been asking for 3 months to change over his check knowing that money is his trigger. Has not done it. Needless to say I asked for drug test and he said he couldn't go because he just tested at IOP, I calmly said you know the rule you may stay if you are clean and can pass a drug test not taking it is telling me your using. Yell, blame, etc. but I held firm, he came down kissed me on the head told me to call his counselor at IOP and get the test. Then he left. Tell me I have done the right thing? I know this has been a long time in the making and I had to stick to my boundaries or this will keep going on. Thank you for your support.
I hope this helps you: Whatever happens is HIS choice not mine. He can choose to make it and turn his life around or he can choose the demon that he has allowed in his life. IF he lived by my choices, he wouldn't be where he is. so it is up to HIM to choose what he wants from his life.
We have even gone as far as taking the entire downstairs, where he had his own room/bathroom, living room, ripped up carpets, will repaint, redo what use to be his room and we have delved into that. We are both suffering and this just happens to keep us busy.
I wish you peace in your soul. I would always recommend have someone to go talk to that is out of the 'hurt circle'. It can't hurt.
Hugs out to you and your family.