Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...

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I hate my mother

Jayzandra
Jayzandra
My mom has been addicted to one thing or another for as long as I can remember, wether it's alcohol, heroin, or prescription pills. Right now it is Meth & Vicodin. I had given up on her long ago but we were still friends. I had my family (my 2 kids & their dad) and we were ok. She would visit every once in a while & come over for holidays & birthday parties. Then my family & I moved out of state. After about a year and a half my kids' dad was arrested, which pretty much screwed me. So I had to leave behind most of my possesions & come back to California, where I had some friends and family. The kids & I stayed with a friend until I could get back on my feet. It took a while, but now I have a crappy job & my own little apartment. I don't make enough money & I don't have enough time on my hands. Out of desperation, I agreed to let my mom move in & watch the kids while I work. However, that was a HUGE mistake. More often than not she's super "sick" or in pain. On so many different ocassions I get home from work only to find her asleep while my 3 kids are basically watching themselves! They are 7, 4, & 10 months. The house is always trashed, with dishes piled high, food left out to spoil, loads of laundry needing done. The kids complain they have eaten all day. So I have to do all this when I get home instead of spending time with my kids. One day I even found a speed pipe on my living room floor. Thank God she wasn't here at the time, because I would have seriously injured her. Of course she claims she was "set up". How stupid is that? So now what are my options? I can't afford to hire a real sitter & all my friends already have jobs. Sometimes I feel like I should just quit my job. Im terrified that im going to come home from work one of these days and my baby is going to be dead. I just don't know what im supposed to do. Most people consider me strong for the life I've lived, but I don't feel strong enough to deal with this crap.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You should never have to wonder if your children are in danger. I go thru that at times with my kids dad - I don't believe that he would intentionally harm them but he has violent mood swings due to the drugs/alcohol. I too keep him around as a "sitter" (I hate saying it that way but that's how he sees it also as it takes away from his time) I have so many people tell me to get rid of him but they doi not realize it is not that easy - especailly in a situation that you you really do not know how you will keep your job if that person is not there to watch the kids. I do agree with everyone that says he needs to go and my advice to you is the same. I just want to let you know that I completely understand how it os not that easy to do as I have not figured out a way to do it either! Maybe we can help each other figure something out that will be both good for us and our kids and get the effects of drugs away from our families!!
mgs1
mgs1
http://www.allaboutcounseling.com/crisis_hotlines.htm

Here is resource list of hotlines providing help. I can tell you California has the BEST programs for help

http://www.childsworld.ca.gov/
And, I know this is hard.... report your mom... you don't even have to give your name. go here
http://www.dss.cahwnet.gov/cdssweb/PG20.htm

Good Luck Stay Strong.
GMaWilli
GMaWilli
I hope you find some help because if the children and family services get called to your home, they might take your kids. If you found a pipe on your floor, then she's doing crap while she's in the presence of your kids. What if the 10 month old or even the older ones picked it up and put it in their mouth?? I know, you've already thought about that. Are there any churches you could go to and ask for help? United Way? Salvation Army? I'd start making as many calls as I could. Your mom needs to go. Sorry; I know how hard that will be. I'll pray for you today.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Go to a state regulated daycare center with a sliding fee scale, you will likely get subsidized childcare. You are putting your children in grave danger. Please do so as soon as possible. You should not allow your mother near your children unless or until she is clean and sober. Try joining a support group for families of addicts, you will get a lot of information there and make friends that can point you toward better choices.
deleted_user
deleted_user
jay you need help! get your mom out of the house. i dont know what state you live in but you can get on housing. then you can go to school full time and work part time. the 7 year old should start helping more, the 4 year can pick up after him/her self and both of them can help you with the little one. i feel bad for you but finding a guy is not the answer. you have to keep your head up and push foward. try hard not to let anything get in the way of your goals! your mom had her chance now it is your chance, dont deny yourself and your kidsof this chance! live, love, laugh!
LACat123
LACat123
maybe you can find someone (not an addict) that needs a place to stay and can help you out in exchange for free or cheap rent. there are many good people out there. i hope you can find a solution. look at church bulletin boards for someone needing a place to live or something!
LACat123
LACat123
maybe you can find someone (not an addict) that needs a place to stay and can help you out in exchange for free or cheap rent. there are many good people out there. i hope you can find a solution. look at church bulletin boards for someone needing a place to live or something!