Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...

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I feel ikemim going to crack

dmatt124
dmatt124
My last post my husband and I gave my son till the end of the month to find an apartment . Friday after asking him to please let me help him , I received a voicemail and him saying he wants help and he knows he can't do it alone this was after he didn't come home the night before, when he came home on friday night we talk I feel he was high, I talked to him about his options, as I said in previous post he does not want to lose his job in which he was just promoted. I asked him if on Sunday we went to the therapist to see what his options are so that he could keep his job and get him the help he needs. Last night he calls in his way home to say his friends want to take him out for his b-day which was last week I said you know my feelings however you are 24 and you have to make your own decision needless to say he doesn't come home and can't make the appointment. I feel like a fool . Why is that that I keep hangings on to hope, trying to believe he really does want help? When do I give up? I feel embarrassed even sharing this because I feel like I m weak and actuallynhad a melt down this morning. I run a company of 200 people, I am the one who is always there when my siblings need someone to help them, but yet I can't help my own son or Moreso help myself. I also know being menopausal ( sorry my male friends) certainly isn't helping this roller coaster ride. When do you stop believing your son is going to be the person he was? How do you maintain hope but not feel dissappointed ? My world is turned upside down and I'm trying my best to be strong, be supportive and give my husband and daughter the love they need.
katrinka
katrinka
Sometimes you have to step outside of yourself and ask what would be best for your son.
He is in his cycle, remorse, your right mom I need help.......Ummm friends are getting together and invited me then doesn't show up for an important meeting. His cycle will start all over this week.
The end of the month will be here before you know it do you have a plan if he doesn't have a place to stay? A lot of addicts wait until after the New Year they feel they have to be partying as it the partying season. Then in January rehabs fill up, kinda like everyone deciding to go on a diet or join the gym.
You love him that is why you don't give up hope. I wouldn't give up hope either that is the worst thing parents can do is to basically write off their kids.
As for his job if he doesn't do the job he will be fired. I guess right now the drugs aren't effecting his job.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I feel so much for what you're going through. My 25 year old daug. has been on a downward spiral for the last 2 years and has put her father & me through hell in the process. Pleae don't be so hard on yourself. I can tell from your post that you would do anything you could to help your son but you know he has to be the one to help himself. I hope & pray that both of our adult children will realize the damage that they are doing to themselves and to the people that love them.
cardinal39
cardinal39
be postitive,,, you can not control , nor can you help him,,,, I've learned that actions speak louder then words,,,, I don't know how many times my dd,,, said she needs help,, but would turn around a be gone for a night,, then couple of days,, then it turns into weeks,,, I know she is safe now,, cause God put her behind bars,,, Katrina is right,,, never turn your back,,, tough love does not mean,, stop loving,, in our house it means enough is enough,,, stick with your threats,,, believe I never was able to, until now, I realized I was not helping her,, but actually making it easiIer for her to use,,,,, I go every Monday to visit her, would not miss it for the world,, I want her to know that we are here her support group,, however she has to changer her life,,,, we always will allow to be part of our world, but we will no longer be part of her "drug" world,,,,, I hate when people tell me to be strong,,, beceause darn tsometimes I just want to have a melt down,,, so I am go,ing to tell you to be patient,keep praying, and never give up,,,,, God loves your son, more then you do, that is the greatest gift on earth,,,,,
dmatt124
dmatt124
I had to laugh, when I re-read my post and couldn't even get the word "like " spelled correctly, that what this horrible destructive disease does to a well educated women. I always try to find humor whenever possible. Thank you! from the very bottom of my soul, for your words of wisdom and your gentle warnings I what I may be do wrong. This site has been a saving grace for me and I thank god for bringing each and every one of you into my life. You will all be in my prayers tonight.